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The Torch The university newspaper, The Torch, is now taking applications from students who are interested in joining the staff. There are several different positions available and experience in journalism is not required. This is the chance to get the ex v.1

The Torch The university newspaper, The Torch, is now taking applications from students who are interested in joining the staff. There are several different positions available and experience in journalism is not required. This is the chance to get the ex v. 1
Upbringing a child is really a challenging task for some parents. Therefore, some believe attending parental training courses are essential to raising the child, I personally do not agree with this view due to lack of proper guidance from grandparents and inbuilt talent. The reason why I think growing up the child does not require any course is due to the lack of appropriate advice from parents. Today, most of the Z generations will prefer to live in a nuclear family and they do not have much knowledge and skills about how to raise and look after an infant because of this they join such courses. Moreover, owing to the nuclear family, grandparents, who possess good experience of parenting, are not there to guide them to raise their grandchildren properly. As some parents detest seeking advice from their parents which enables them to follow a training course. For example, in a survey of Harvard University found that 59% of new parents opt for such courses due to lack of parental advice. Another reason for the increasing importance of such classes is the inability to interpret inbuilt talent. Being a parent is a wonderful experience, anyone can feel when they become a new parent and it does not require any training session. To elucidate, when a girl enters into the parenting phase, the ability to raise the child comes up naturally because everyone possesses such abilities already. It just requires to know the inbuilt aptitude and rest it evolves as the child grows up. For instance, in India, without joining such training courses 88% of parents are able to raise their children scrupulously with knowing inbuilt talents. In conclusion, although some people will be always in favour of parenting training classes, I think that seeking grandparents’ advice and knowing inbuilt talent assists in upbringing child properly. Therefore, I completely disagree that joining such a course is the only best option to grow the child.
Upbringing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is
really
a challenging task for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe attending parental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
are essential to raising the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
, I
personally
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view due to lack of proper guidance from grandparents and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inbuilt
talent.

The reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
growing up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does not require any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is due to the lack of appropriate advice from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, most of the Z generations will prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a nuclear
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
they do not have much knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
about how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
and look after an infant
because of this
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
Moreover
, owing to the nuclear family, grandparents, who possess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience of parenting, are not there to guide them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
their grandchildren
properly
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
detest seeking advice from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
which enables them to follow a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
.
For example
, in a survey of Harvard University found that 59% of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
opt for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
due to lack of parental advice.

Another reason for the increasing importance of such classes is the inability to interpret
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inbuilt
talent. Being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
is a wonderful experience, anyone can feel when they become a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
and it does not require any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
session. To elucidate, when a girl enters into the parenting phase, the ability to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up
naturally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone possesses such abilities already. It
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
requires to know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inbuilt
aptitude and rest it evolves as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
grows up.
For instance
, in India, without joining such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
88% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raise
their children
scrupulously
with knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inbuilt
talents.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be always in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of parenting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
training
classes, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that seeking grandparents’ advice and knowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
inbuilt
talent assists in upbringing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
properly
.
Therefore
, I completely disagree that joining such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
course
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
best option to grow the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay The Torch The university newspaper, The Torch, is now taking applications from students who are interested in joining the staff. There are several different positions available and experience in journalism is not required. This is the chance to get the ex v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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