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Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. v.8

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. v. 8
People are becoming more and more care-free and can go way out of the ordinary when it comes to the risky sports. Because of the fame and the monetary reward that some unsafe sports provide, it has been common practice among many sports professionals to go to the extremes of the risk limits. Below paragraphs shall discuss reasons why people dare to choose these sports, following recommendations to safeguard against such dangers. There are several reasons why many people like threatening sports. The abundant amount of monetary income and an astonishing fame allowing them to become the global celebrities are some of the main reasons which in turn lead to adrenalin rush among the sports professionals to participate in unsafe sporting activities. The racing drivers are the people who daily undergo such a high-risk conditions, for instance, however, they are willing to do it repeatedly due to the rewards that they receive through this. Safety measures and standard instructions are always there in place for the majority of the mincing sports when it comes to practising them. Firstly, sports person should train oneself under experienced coach, which will help to get an overall idea about dangers associated with the particular sport. Secondly, a person ought to take proper precautions according to standard guidelines outlined. For instance, racing drivers should always wear the fire-proof jackets to better protect from the fire accidents. Finally, these kinds of activities should be performed after the careful inspection of a sporting venue and the sports equipment by safety experts. In conclusion, many people like to participate in life-threatening sports activities for various reasons like money, popularity etc. However, one should be circumspect about the dangers of such activities and better follow safety guidelines and train well in advance before practising them. Also, governments can define some safety norms for unsafe sports.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are becoming more and more care-free and can go way out of the ordinary when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the fame and the monetary reward that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
provide, it has been common practice among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals to go to the extremes of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
limits. Below paragraphs shall discuss
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dare to choose these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, following recommendations to safeguard against such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
.

There are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The abundant amount of monetary income and an astonishing fame allowing them to become the global celebrities are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
which in turn lead to adrenalin rush among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals to participate in unsafe sporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. The racing drivers are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who daily undergo such a high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "condition"?
conditions
,
for instance
,
however
, they are willing to do it
repeatedly
due to the rewards that they receive through this.

Safety measures and standard instructions are always there in place for the majority of the mincing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
them.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person should train oneself under experienced coach, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
associated with the particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
.
Secondly
, a person ought to take proper precautions according to standard guidelines outlined.
For instance
, racing drivers should always wear the fire-proof jackets to better protect from the fire accidents.
Finally
, these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
should
be performed
after the careful inspection of a sporting venue and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
equipment by safety experts.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to participate in life-threatening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
like money, popularity etc.
However
, one should be circumspect about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and better follow safety guidelines and train well in advance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
them.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
can define
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
safety norms for unsafe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. Why do people take part in dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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