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In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. v.20

In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. v. 20
There is a growing trend of children attending vocational schools from the age of 11 or 13 in Europe. While some people are of the view that such schools enable children to learn practical skills that help them get a job, others feel that an academic education is more important. This essay tries to explore the context behind the two schools of thought and tries to frame an ideal solution to it. There is no doubt that a strong academic education is very important in order to secure the future of children. A strong schooling culture not only instils discipline in children but also helps them to shape their thinking and improves learning ability which is extremely valuable in life. Besides, an elementary knowledge of all subjects is a must in order to compete in this challenging world. However, we must understand that not all children are academically oriented. It is best to encourage such children to start learning a vocation from an early age in order to prepare them to earn their living. Giving them the early start is important so that they can excel in their field and also they have enough time to explore other options. In my opinion, schools can provide a perfect blend of both these situations. Introducing vocational subjects like carpentry, fashion designing, automotive courses etc. will allow young minds to discover alternate career options while giving the comfort of a school environment. Specially designed tests can assess the inclination of a student to a particular skill. Besides, the vocation courses can be tailored to fit the requirements of particular students.
There is a growing trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attending vocational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
from the age of 11 or 13 in Europe. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are of the view that such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
enable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job, others feel that an academic education is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay tries to explore the context behind the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
and tries to frame an ideal solution to it.

There is no doubt that a strong academic education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in order to secure the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. A strong schooling culture not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'instils' is British English.
instils
discipline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to shape their thinking and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
learning ability which is
extremely
valuable in life.
Besides
, an elementary knowledge of all subjects is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
in order to compete in this challenging world.

However
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
understand that not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
academically
oriented. It is best to encourage such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
learning a vocation from an early age in order to prepare them to earn their living. Giving them the early
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can excel in their field and
also
they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to explore other options.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can provide a perfect blend of both these situations. Introducing vocational subjects like carpentry, fashion designing, automotive courses etc. will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
young minds to discover alternate career options while giving the comfort of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
environment.
Specially
designed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
can assess the inclination of a student to a particular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
.
Besides
, the vocation courses can
be tailored
to fit the requirements of particular students.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries in Europe, some children from the age of 11 or 13 go to schools to learn more practical skills that will help them get a job. Other children stay in schools which provide a more general academic education. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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