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Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. why do people take part in these dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. v.4

Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. why do people take part in these dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. v. 4
In present scenario, the interest of people in different sports such as wrestling, mountain climbing and water games has been increased to a greater extent. Fewer masses assert that take part in such sports is risk to life. However, some individuals are still participating in these activities. This essay would aim at justifying the causes behind this trend before mentioning the measures to cope up with the danger. To commence with, various reasons are there that encourage individuals to participate in risky sports. The predominant reason is innate physical qualities. In other words, some people have a muscular and strong physique which motivates them to make their career in some particular sports. Take an example of Dilip Singh Khali renowned Indian wrestler who have strong body since his birth and, the same reason led him to choose this field as a career. Besides this, adventurous and enthusiastic nature of individuals can be another possible reason to take part in dangerous sports. Therefore, these are few imperative reasons, among of many that inspire people towards these sports. However, safety is a considerable matter, while participating in dangerous sports in order to cope up with the risk associated with it. Firstly, responsibility should be taken by the individuals by following the instructions. To put it simple, extremely dangerous sports should be performed under professional supervision by using safety equipments. For instance, while performing water sports such as river rafting, safety jackets must be worn by the participants to curtail the risk of any misshaping. Furthermore, the government should have to ensure the security by making it mandatory to perform these activities only under the observations of skilled coaches. Hence, it is the juggled responsibility of both individuals and regime to make such games less dangerous. In conclusion, dangerous sports have become integral part of our society and there is no harm to participate in such sports. The only thing which is needed is precaution. Hence, the government and Individuals both should have to take this responsibility.
In present scenario, the interest of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as wrestling, mountain climbing and water games has
been increased
to a greater extent. Fewer masses assert that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
to life.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
are
still
participating in these activities. This essay would aim at justifying the causes behind this trend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
mentioning the measures to cope up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

To commence with, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are there that encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
to participate in risky
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The predominant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is innate physical qualities.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a muscular and strong physique which motivates them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their career in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. Take an example of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dilip
Singh
Possible spelling mistake found.
Khali
renowned Indian wrestler who have strong body since his birth and, the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
led him to choose this field as a career.
Besides
this, adventurous and enthusiastic nature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
can be another possible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Therefore
, these are few imperative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, among of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that inspire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
towards these sports.

However
, safety is a considerable matter, while participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in order to cope up with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
associated with it.
Firstly
, responsibility should
be taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
by following the instructions. To put it simple,
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be performed
under professional supervision by using safety equipments.
For instance
, while performing water
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as river rafting, safety jackets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be worn
by the participants to curtail the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of any misshaping.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
ensure the security by making it mandatory to perform these activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
under the observations of skilled coaches.
Hence
, it is the juggled responsibility of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and regime to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such games less
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have become integral part of our society and there is no harm to participate in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing which
is needed
is precaution.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
both should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take this responsibility.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some sports are extremely dangerous but many people still like them very much. why do people take part in these dangerous sports? Give some suggestions on how to deal with these dangers. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
334 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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