Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some says that most important thing about being rich is that one has opportunity to help others. To what extend do you agree or disagree. v.1

Some says that most important thing about being rich is that one has opportunity to help others. v. 1
Nowadays, it has detected a boost of the crime in many nations. Personally, I think the two main causes of this is for the consume of drugs and the social inequality. However, I believe that people could cope with those problems, provided that they would elect better authorities that might control this situation. The most dangerous countries are located in South America, which are: Colombia, Mexico and Brasil, all of them are related to drugs. Cocaine and other addictions create several money, then for conserving the business, there are a lot of “hit men” who is being able to do many murders. Also, those people enter into this dark world, for the reason that in their life they have had fewer opportunities in the life, so they feel that do not have nothing to lose and the world is unfair to them. On the other hand, I believe that we can change a little bit this trouble, in first place if we choose the correct politics in the power. In my view, governments should try to control of the drug trafficking, perhaps with the extradition to the USA. Conversely, politics ought to encourage to do programs to combat the social inequality, for instance, to a destiny more money for improving education for poor people. In conclusion, several nations have increased the numbers of crimes. This reality is happening likely for the drug trafficking and for the lack of opportunities that the system offer. Nonetheless, never is late to make changes to cope this reality, which can be elect better authorities that fight for doing a fair society.
Nowadays, it has detected a boost of the crime in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
nations.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the two main causes of this is for
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'consume' is correct. If 'consume' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the consume
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
and the social inequality.
However
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could cope with those problems, provided that they would elect better authorities that might control this situation.

The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
countries
are located
in South America, which are: Colombia, Mexico and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Brasil
, all of them
are related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
. Cocaine and other addictions create
Possible agreement error. The noun money seems to be uncountable; consider using: "some money".
several money
, then for conserving the business, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
“hit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
” who is being able to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
murders.
Also
, those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enter into this dark world, for the reason that in their life they have had fewer opportunities in the life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they feel that do
Double negatives are discouraged in standard English. Can you reformulate this phrase or is a comma missing?
not have nothing
to lose and the world is unfair to them.

On the other hand
, I believe that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
this trouble, in
first
place if we choose the correct politics in the power. In my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should try to control of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking, perhaps with the extradition to the USA.
Conversely
, politics ought to encourage
Did you mean "doing"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'encourage' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to do
programs to combat the social inequality,
for instance
, to a destiny more money for improving education for poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, several nations have increased the numbers of crimes. This reality is happening likely for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
trafficking and for the lack of opportunities that the system offer. Nonetheless,
The adverb 'never' usually goes after the verb 'is'.
never is
late to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to cope this reality, which can be elect better authorities that fight for doing a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some says that most important thing about being rich is that one has opportunity to help others. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts