Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some say that young people are not suitable for decision-making positions in governments, others, however disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some say that young people are not suitable for decision-making positions in governments, others, however disagree. v. 1
With age and experience, people can make a proper and reliable decision. Many believe that the young generation are not eligible to make judgment in government sector and other believes the opposite. In further paragraph, I intend to explain both the views before giving the opinion. On the one hand, many people think that the younger generation is incapable of ruling, due to their impulsive nature. But according to current senior, young generation can serve better for the nation's development. With their education, practical skills, they are more knowledgeable and can contribute to the betterment of the government. For instance, In India, the majority of the members in authority sectors are in their 20's and 30's. The ratio of young generation is more compared to older people. Thus, for betterment of such generation, they prefer verdict made by young politician. On the other hand, many think that older and experienced people are more suitable for decision making in the government. Because of their experience in the same field, they can provide proper guidance and can propose new better schemes. But, in the present government sector, the elder people who are appointed in different position were selected at an early age and has less education qualification then the current youth politicians. Thus, the thinking ability of the public and politician does not match, which indirectly affects the law system and public. In the conclusion, I would pen down, saying that, although decision making becomes more precise with age and experience, but in current scenario practicality and young mind is required to run the government.
With age and experience,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a proper and reliable decision.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation are not eligible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
judgment in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sector and other believes the opposite. In
further
paragraph, I intend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
both the views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving the opinion.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the younger generation is incapable of ruling, due to their impulsive nature.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
according to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
senior,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation can serve better for the nation's development. With their education, practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they are more knowledgeable and can contribute to the betterment of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
For instance
, In India, the majority of the members in authority sectors are in their
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "20s".
20's
and
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "30s".
30's
. The ratio of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation is more compared to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, for betterment of such generation, they prefer verdict made by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
politician.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that older and experienced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more suitable for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of their experience in the same field, they can provide proper guidance and can propose new better schemes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
sector, the elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are appointed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
position
were selected
at an early age and has less education qualification
Did you mean "than"?
then
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
youth politicians.
Thus
, the thinking ability of the public and politician does not match, which
indirectly
affects the law system and public.

In the conclusion, I would pen down, saying that, although
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
becomes more precise with age and experience,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
scenario practicality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
mind
is required
to run the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that young people are not suitable for decision-making positions in governments, others, however disagree. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts