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Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. v. 4
In contemporary society, some people think that sports occupy part of an important role in our lives. However, others claim that sports are leisure activities. Personally, I believe that sports bring more certain benefits than thinking they are leisure activities. On the one hand, everyone thinks that sport is something helps people are relaxing and seeing it is leisure activities. First of all, not everyone has the abilities and potentials to become professional sports players. Therefore, they often seek out simple activities and it can help them release stress. For example, some people suffer job pressures, they tend to play sports such as boxing or yoga because they can help people reduce stress. On the other hand, some people say that sports have a vital role in society. One of the main reason is sports help people to become healthier and have a beautiful body. For example, some people are obese, they are workout exercise regularly because sports help them lose weight. Moreover, governments can save money paying on health insurances. Secondly, children now spend more and more time to play computer games, and watching television screen instead of going out. Therefore, their parents need to open plenty of sports and training for them, this helps them are interesting with society. Children can expand their relationship and improve their social interaction with peers To sum up, some people think that sport just is a small part of in their life, and it is leisure activities. However, I believe that sports now are a common and important role in our lives.
In contemporary society,
some
people
think
that
sports
occupy part of an
important
role in our
lives
.
However
, others claim that
sports
are
leisure
activities
.
Personally
, I believe that
sports
bring more certain benefits than thinking they are
leisure
activities.

On the one hand, everyone
thinks
that
sport
is something
helps
people
are relaxing and seeing it is
leisure
activities
.
First of all
, not everyone has the abilities and potentials to become professional
sports
players.
Therefore
, they
often
seek out simple
activities
and it can
help
them release
stress
.
For example
,
some
people
suffer job pressures, they tend to play
sports
such as boxing or yoga
because
they can
help
people
reduce
stress
.

On the other hand
,
some
people
say that
sports
have a vital role in society. One of the main reason is
sports
help
people
to become healthier and have a
beautiful
body.
For example
,
some
people
are obese, they are workout exercise
regularly
because
sports
help
them lose weight.
Moreover
,
governments
can save money paying on health insurances.
Secondly
, children
now
spend more and more time to play computer games, and watching television screen
instead
of going out.
Therefore
, their parents need to open
plenty
of
sports
and training for them, this
helps
them are interesting with society. Children can expand their relationship and
improve
their social interaction with
peers


To sum up,
some
people
think
that
sport
just
is a
small
part of in their life, and it is
leisure
activities
.
However
, I believe that
sports
now
are a common and
important
role in our
lives
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
34Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that sports play an important role in society. Others, however, think that it is nothing more than a leisure activity. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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