Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience. v.9

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. v. 9
Wealthy countries are moving ahead in their economic aspects, however, the poor countries are economically lagging behind. Some people claim these rich nations must help the underprivileged nations in the form of food and education. I completely agree with this statement. Analysing equality of wealth among the nations, as well as maintaining friendly relations between these nations will prove this. Firstly, there is a wide gap between the developed and the underdeveloped countries. In addition, the gap can be narrowed, if the poor nations can eradicate hunger and illiteracy rate among their population. For instance, in the 1950s, many of the African countries were declared as backward, however these are now categorised as developing nations. This is because these poor people progressed economically after they received support from the western pals. Therefore, in order to attain equality of money among the different parts of the world this exchange of food and education is necessary. Secondly, friendly relation among the countries is essential in order to maintain peace and harmony. Wealthy nations can maintain cordial relation by helping the underprivileged nations to fight against food deficiency issues and the corrupt education system. For example, if every adult in a developed country can sponsor education for the people in deprived nation, then there will be 100% literacy in these backward countries. Hence, in order to maintain friendship among the rich and poor countries, these wealthy people must provide support. In conclusion, the gap between the prosperous and the deprived nation can be reduced by exchanging food and knowledge. Accordingly, they can maintain good friendly relation in order to attain peace and harmony in the world. Finally, the economically forward countries can support the backward nations by providing food aid and supporting the education system.
Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are moving ahead in their economic aspects,
however
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
economically
lagging behind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim these rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
equality of wealth among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
,
as well
as maintaining friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relations
between these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
will prove this.

Firstly
, there is a wide gap between the developed and the underdeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In addition
, the gap can
be narrowed
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can eradicate hunger and illiteracy rate among their population.
For instance
, in the 1950s,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the African
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
were declared
as backward,
however
these are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
as developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
progressed
economically
after they received support from the western pals.
Therefore
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to attain equality of money among the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world this exchange of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is necessary.

Secondly
, friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is essential in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
peace and harmony. Wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
cordial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
by helping the underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to fight against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
deficiency issues and the corrupt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
For example
, if every adult in a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can sponsor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
, then there will be 100% literacy in these backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
Hence
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
friendship among the rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, these wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide support.

In conclusion
, the gap between the prosperous and the deprived
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
by exchanging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and knowledge.
Accordingly
, they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
maintain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
relation
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to attain peace and harmony in the world.
Finally
, the
economically
forward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can support the backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
aid and supporting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
292 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts