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Some say that only people born with certain talents should practice arts such as music, painting, and poetry. Others, however, think that anyone can participate in these activities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some say that only people born with certain talents should practice arts such as music, painting, and poetry. Others, however, think that anyone can participate in these activities. v. 1
We are living in the 21st century and technology is everywhere, in every aspect of life. Human cannot live without advance and new technology that reduce human work and efforts. But it also brings changes in living standard; Culture and traditional way of doing things overtaking by modern machinery. This essay will examine both of the views and provide a conclusive summary. In my opinion, I disagree with the above statement that by following traditional skills along with modern life style is pointless. Because Culture has its own value and technology has its own advantages. Firstly, culture is all about our norms, values and Morales that give a shape to society; how to live a happy life whereas automation helps to make that life easy not happy. Secondly, Old traditions are being transferred to one generation to another, so that knowledge and capabilities shall be available among humans. For instance, China is the only nation who follows its culture with rigidity. Chinese are the part of one of the developed nations and technologically advanced but still they didn't let die their customs and values. The art of Kungfu fighting is still being taught by the masters to the new breed. They still use Chinese as their business language, whereas whole world use English as a business language. To conclude, it can be said that being technologically advanced does not mean that old culture is useless for the coming generation. However, Culture provides a direction to humans to use technology in such a way so that nature and human life may sustain on Earth forever.
We are living in the 21st century and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is everywhere, in every aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without advance and new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
work and efforts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it
also
brings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in living standard;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
and traditional way of doing things overtaking by modern machinery. This essay will examine both of the views and provide a conclusive summary.

In my opinion, I disagree with the above statement that by following traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
along with modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
style is pointless.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
value and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is all about our norms, values and Morales that give a shape to society; how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
whereas automation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
easy not happy.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Old
traditions are
being transferred
to one generation to another,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that knowledge and capabilities shall be available among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
For instance
, China is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
nation who follows its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
with rigidity. Chinese are the part of one of the developed nations and
technologically
advanced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
their customs and values. The art of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kungfu
fighting is
still
being taught
by the masters to the new breed. They
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Chinese as their business language, whereas whole world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
English as a business language.

To conclude
, it can
be said
that being
technologically
advanced does not mean that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is useless for the coming generation.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Culture
provides a direction to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in such a way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that nature and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
may sustain on Earth forever.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some say that only people born with certain talents should practice arts such as music, painting, and poetry. Others, however, think that anyone can participate in these activities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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