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It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.5

It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. v. 5
Recently, it has been discovered that a lot of people that finished from Universities are unable to get employment in their career field. Though there are several factors that may have contributed to this trend, a lot of things could also be done to curb the situation. One of the major causes of graduates not being able to get jobs in their major field of study is overpopulation. This is a situation whereby many people are struggling to gain employment in a company at the same time. As a result of this, some individuals will have no choice than to just accept any kind of job even if it is not in line with their chosen career. For example, in Nigeria, you can find a lot of Law students working as a banker just because there was no opportunity for them in their major. In addition, Bad Government has also contributed to this problem. Governments are not ready to take responsibilities in this aspect, they prefer to embezzle public funds on holiday trips with their families rather than spending to develop the country and create employment for their citizens. However, there are many ways this issue can be resolved. Leaders should start taking responsibilities of people living in their country, especially those that just finished from school by creating job opportunities. They should allow foreign investors to invest in their states so that there would be several job opportunities for their citizens without having to struggle for just one. Also, Governments should encourage Small Scale Businesses by granting loans to interested graduates who have great ideas. This would encourage them to develop and eradicate the need to look out for jobs. In conclusion, the reason for graduates struggling for jobs in their field of study is because, there are factors like over-population and bad governments contributing to the issue but job creation and support from the government could alleviate the burdens.
Recently, it has
been discovered
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that finished from Universities are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
employment in their career field. Though there are several factors that may have contributed to this trend,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things could
also
be done
to curb the situation.

One of the major causes of graduates not being able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in their major field of study is overpopulation. This is a situation whereby
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are struggling to gain employment in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
at the same time.
As a result
of this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals will have no choice than to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
accept any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
even if it is not in line with their chosen career.
For example
, in Nigeria, you can find
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Law students working as a banker
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there was no opportunity for them in their major.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
has
also
contributed to this problem.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
are not ready to take responsibilities in this aspect, they prefer to embezzle public funds on holiday trips with their families
rather
than spending to develop the country and create employment for their citizens.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways this issue can
be resolved
. Leaders should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
taking responsibilities of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living in their country,
especially
those that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
finished from school by creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
foreign investors to invest in their states
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there would be several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
opportunities for their citizens without having to struggle for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Governments
should encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Small
Scale Businesses by granting loans to interested graduates who have great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
. This would encourage them to develop and eradicate the need to look out for jobs.

In conclusion
, the reason for graduates struggling for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in their field of study is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, there are factors like over-population and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
contributing to the issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
creation and support from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could alleviate the burdens.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay It is generally believed that the Internet is an excellent means of communication but some people suggest that it may not be the best place to find information. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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