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Some say that music is as important as other subjects in schools, especially at the preschool level. v.1

Some say that music is as important as other subjects in schools, especially at the preschool level. v. 1
Art in the form of music, poetry and dance depicts the cultural and traditional value of a society. People often regard music as nutriment for spiritual needs. Few people believe that music subject is of equal significance like other subjects during pre-schools, which is laudable, but I partially agree with this statement and believe that this subject should be included at the secondary level. This essay will analyse the importance of music course in pre-schools and at the secondary level. Music plays an important role in our life. It helps in reducing stress, refreshes brain and help in maintaining the right balance in the body. Introducing children to music subject in their early ages is of great value. It not only develops love and affection for going schools but also improves their learning skills. For instance, rhymes and poetry can easily be memorised when sung in a chorus with background music. Moreover, children who find it hard to learn different alphabets and numbers can easily overcome this weakness through rhymes played with music. Music can often change the strings of the brain which can nurture creative skills, reduce hostile attitude and develops calmness in their growing age. Though one cannot deny the significance of this subject at pre-school, it will be of great value if this subject is formally introduced at primary/ secondary level. During this phase, a child in undergoing through physical and spiritual transformations and music can help to kerb their desires. Moreover, a child now can better understand the lyrics and appreciate the music than that in pre-school. Children can also acquire the skills of singing, playing musical instruments of writing lyrics which can further result in marvels. To recapitulate, the above provides several plausible arguments of introducing music classes in pre-school. However, in my opinion, the true essence of this subject can only be met at the primary/ secondary level when creative skills and thirst to do something are at their highest peak.
Art in the form of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, poetry and dance depicts the cultural and traditional value of a society.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as nutriment for spiritual needs. Few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is of equal significance like other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
during
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-schools
, which is laudable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement and believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
should
be included
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
level. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
course in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-schools
and at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
level.

Music plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in our life. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, refreshes brain and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in maintaining the right balance in the body. Introducing children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
in their early ages is of great value. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
develops
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and affection for going schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
their learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
For instance
, rhymes and poetry can
easily
be
Possible spelling mistake. 'memorised' is British English.
memorised
when sung in a chorus with background
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
Moreover
, children who find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
alphabets and numbers can
easily
overcome this weakness through rhymes played with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Music
can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the strings of the brain which can nurture creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
hostile attitude and develops calmness in their growing age.

Though one cannot deny the significance of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
at
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
, it will be of great value if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is
formally
introduced at primary/
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
level. During this phase, a child in undergoing through physical and spiritual transformations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'kerb' is British English.
kerb
their desires.
Moreover
, a child
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can better understand the lyrics and appreciate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
than that in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
. Children can
also
acquire the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of singing, playing musical instruments of writing lyrics which can
further
result in marvels.

To recapitulate, the above provides several plausible arguments of introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
classes in
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-school
.
However
, in my opinion, the true essence of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be met
at the primary/
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
level when creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and thirst to do something are at their highest peak.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that music is as important as other subjects in schools, especially at the preschool level. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
327 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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