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Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boardingschool. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss. v.1

Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boardingschool. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss. v. 1
There is still a lot of controversial about whether send children to boarding schools or stay with their family. Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boarding school. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. In my opinion, boarding school has many indisputable benefits. First of all, living in boarding school can improve children’s independence. Away from parents’ love causes the children to do all the things by themselves. This will allow them to develop a mature attitude and self-reliance. Secondly, boarding schools keep children away from social catastrophes. Students in these schools are kept occupied in the evening and took advance of after-school conversations with teacher. As a result, they will stay away from drugs, alcohol and other dopes. Lastly, the boarding schools have effective teaching qualities. Having modern facilities and highly qualified teacher, these schools can provide children with new teaching and learning strategies. Classes are also significantly smaller than regular school classes and obviously teachers can pay more attention to each student Beside the advantage it brings, boarding school have a lot of disadvantage. The first thing to mentions is the overpriced tuition. Boarding schools exceed the payment of ordinary families and only for the middle and upper classes. This will cost an arm and a leg if parents want their children to attend these schools. In the second place, leaving home too early can cause homesickness and, consequently, lead to fatigue, depression and social isolation. Last but not least, It lack of personal space. There will always be people around and this is not good for teenagers especially during their puberty. In conclusion, boarding school have a lot of advantages such as independence, away from social catastrophes and effective teaching qualities but there are also many disadvantages like homesickness, lack of personal space and overpriced tuition.
There is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
controversial about whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
or stay with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
say that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
had better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and attend a day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
indisputable benefits.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
independence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Away
from parents’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
causes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do all the things by themselves. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to develop a mature attitude and self-reliance.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from social catastrophes. Students in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
occupied in the evening and took advance of after-school conversations with teacher.
As a result
, they will stay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from drugs, alcohol and other dopes.
Lastly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have effective teaching qualities. Having modern facilities and
highly
qualified teacher, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with new teaching and learning strategies. Classes are
also
significantly
smaller than regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
classes and
obviously
teachers can pay more attention to each
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
student


Beside the advantage it brings,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
disadvantage. The
first
thing to mentions is the overpriced tuition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
exceed the payment of ordinary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the middle and upper classes. This will cost an arm and a leg if parents want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to attend these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. In the second place, leaving home too early can cause homesickness and,
consequently
, lead to fatigue, depression and social isolation. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, It
Did you mean "lacks"?
lack
of personal space. There will always be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around and this is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
especially
during their puberty.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages such as independence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
away
from social catastrophes and effective teaching qualities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages like homesickness, lack of personal space and overpriced tuition.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boardingschool. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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