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Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boarding school. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss v.2

Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boarding school. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss v. 2
It is common knowledge that schooling is very important for parents in today’s world. The question, however, arises, which type of school is better for the families day school or boarding school? This essay will attempt to discuss both sides of the argument and provide relevant examples. First and the foremost, school is the most important thing in the kid’s childhood, because one third of kids time is taken by school. Boarding school can has extremely positive impact on the young people because it may help them become mature. A major advantage of boarding school experience is fact that the learning never stops. For example, without parents youths have to take care of more aspects of their own life such as preparing food, washing, or even organizing they school schedule. On the other hand, when the kids are left without unattended, they are more encouraged to do unwanted things, such as drinking alcohol or taking drugs. Secondly, however, it is also argued that day school has also positive aspect such as kids have more time to focus on responsibilities related to school. Primary reason of choosing day school is that they do not have to change the environment which will have significant influence on their physical health. In the other words it might be hard for young people to find out in new situation with new people around. Moreover, young people can develop their hobbies which have highly positive impact on the quality of their life. From the arguments I have presented above it can be seen that both arguments can have their supporters and opponents. It is my view though that boarding school can gain more positive aspects to the future life of young people, however, parents cannot forget that they still have to keep in touch with their kids, because no one else can better understand their kids.
It is common knowledge that schooling is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for parents in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world. The question,
however
, arises, which type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is better for the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "families'" or "family's"?
families
day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
? This essay will attempt to discuss both sides of the argument and provide relevant examples.

First
and the foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
childhood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one third of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
time
is taken
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "have"
has
extremely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them become mature. A major advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
experience is fact that the learning never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
.
For example
, without parents youths
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take care of more aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life such as preparing food, washing, or even organizing they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
schedule.
On the other hand
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without unattended, they are more encouraged to do unwanted things, such as drinking alcohol or taking drugs.

Secondly
,
however
, it is
also
argued that day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
has
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
aspect such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
have more time to focus on responsibilities related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Primary reason of choosing day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is that they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the environment which will have significant influence on their physical health. In the other words it might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find out in new situation with new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can develop their hobbies which have
highly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
impact on the quality of their life.

From the arguments I have presented above it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both arguments can have their supporters and opponents. It is my view though that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
can gain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positive
aspects to the future life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
however
, parents cannot forget that they
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
no one else can better understand their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boarding school. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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