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People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.5

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. v. 5
Change is the law of nature. It happens for the betterment of the society and the humans living in it. Over the years, the world has witnessed tremendous changes in almost every aspect of life. Be it technology, living standard, education, medical and healthcare facilities, no sector has been untouched by the rapid development. Technology has played a significant role in shaping the modern world and have provided us countless amenities without which survival is impossible these days. However, these facilities come at a cost and one has to work in order to acquire them. Having said that people these days work tirelessly to buy the luxuries that technology has bestowed upon us. In an attempt to lead a luxurious and comfortable life, people tend to work for long hours and this often results in an imbalance between the personal and professional life of an individual. Heavy industrialization and globalization have resulted in the migration of people to other countries. People generally tend to live better lives afterward with a high standard of living but cultural and moral values are often left behind. Analyzing the statement further, there are a number of reasons to support my argument. Firstly, migration to other countries leads to cultural exchange and in most cases, people get influenced by the new culture and forget their own culture. Secondly, people generally lose their traditional values when they are over-ambitious and work relentlessly toward their goals. Furthermore, customs and ethical values have taken a hit with the rapid developments in technology. Smartphones, internet, and social media play a significant role in influencing the mindset of a person. To recapitulate, technology has been a boon as well as a bane in today' s times. I am of the firm opinion that technology has helped us in unimaginable ways but at the same time has had a significant impact on our moral values. Individuals must ensure that it does not affect the traditional values adversely. Schools and colleges must inculcate the importance of cultural heritage and moral values. The government must spread awareness and frequent programmes must be organized to ensure that these values stay with us forever.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
is the law of nature. It happens for the betterment of the society and the humans living in it. Over the years, the world has witnessed tremendous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in almost every aspect of life. Be it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, living standard, education, medical and healthcare facilities, no sector has
been untouched
by the rapid development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
has played a significant role in shaping the modern world and have provided us countless amenities without which survival is impossible these days.
However
, these facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
at a cost and one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in order to acquire them.

Having said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
tirelessly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the luxuries that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has bestowed upon us. In an attempt to lead a luxurious and comfortable life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for long hours and this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
results in an imbalance between the personal and professional life of an individual. Heavy industrialization and globalization have resulted in the migration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to other countries.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
generally
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
afterward with a high standard of living
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cultural and moral values are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
behind.

Analyzing the statement
further
, there are a number of reasons to support my argument.
Firstly
, migration to other countries leads to cultural exchange and
in most cases
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
influenced by the new culture and forget their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
culture.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
generally
lose their traditional values when they are over-ambitious and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
relentlessly
toward their goals.
Furthermore
, customs and ethical values have taken a hit with the rapid developments in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Smartphones, internet, and social media play a significant role in influencing the mindset of a person.

To recapitulate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has been a boon
as well
as a bane in
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s times. I am of the firm opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us in unimaginable ways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at the same time has had a significant impact on our moral values. Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that it does not affect the traditional values
adversely
. Schools and colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
inculcate the importance of cultural heritage and moral values. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spread awareness and frequent
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be organized
to ensure that these values stay with us forever.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our lives generally more comfortable but many traditional values and customs have been lost and this is a pity. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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