Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boarding school. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss v.1

Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boarding school. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss v. 1
Almost everyone spends the majority of his or her life working. We work approximately 40 hours a week for 35 years until retirement. Some people prefer working in the same company all of their working activity while others believe that changing the job place is often more advantageous. On the one hand, working in the same organization for long makes employees gain experience and knowledge in a particular field. consequently, this worker is more likely to get a higher salary resulting in an improvement in his or her quality of life. For example, a financial officer can become the financial chief executive within 8 years if they perform in the same company. If you work in the same system, you will not have to spend time and effort getting to know new workforce or familiarizing with the job, which is quite a difficult for some people. On the other hand, it is believed that changing corporation offer is worth the time and effort. Firstly, changing companies gives workers, chances for training different working environments, secondly, they would be able to learn a wide range of skills and become a well rounded worker. Additionally, when any worker applies for a new company, they can request higher salaries. If you work in different management, you will not have more training in your job only, you will have more training in your own life because you can deal with different people with different personalities. In conclusion, I completely support the view that people should try supporting companies instead of sticking to the same management all their growth.
Almost everyone spends the majority of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. We work approximately 40 hours a week for 35 years until retirement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
activity while others believe that changing the job place is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
more advantageous.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same organization for long
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
employees gain experience and knowledge in a particular field.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
consequently
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
is more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher salary resulting in an improvement in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
quality of life.
For example
, a financial officer can become the financial chief executive within 8 years if they perform in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. If you work in the same system, you will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend time and effort getting to know new workforce or familiarizing with the job, which is quite a difficult for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, it
is believed
that changing corporation offer is worth the time and effort.
Firstly
, changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
, chances for training
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
environments,
secondly
, they would be able to learn a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and become a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well rounded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
.
Additionally
, when any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
applies for a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
, they can request higher salaries. If you work in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
management, you will not have more training in your job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, you will have more training in your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you can deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
personalities.

In conclusion
, I completely support the view that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should try supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
instead
of sticking to the same management all their growth.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that it is good for children to stay away from their families and go to boarding school. Others say that children had better live with their families and attend a day school. Discuss v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts