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Some say that due to heavy traffic governments need to build more roads in metropolitan cities, while others argue this isn't the right solution. v.1

Some say that due to heavy traffic governments need to build more roads in metropolitan cities, while others argue this isn't the right solution. v. 1
Over the past years, urban population in cities and towns have grown faster than outlying areas mainly due to better economic opportunities. It is known for a fact that more jobs are agglomerated in the nation’s city centre since this is where the central government is seated. Thus, young people from the countryside are driven to migrate to urban areas. Because of the declining population of the labour force in the countryside, there may be negative implications observed in both social and economic systems. For instance, healthcare expenses are perceived to increase with age in some countries. Older people, especially those with sickness, are required with more medication for maintenance. Furthermore, an area dominated with elderly population has special needs of mobility and accessibility such as the transport system. It would be necessary for the local government to modify these services according to the needs of their people. Thus, it is likely that this scenario will entail much economic cost to the local administration. On the other hand, there will also be socioeconomic issues brought about by the expanding population in cities and towns. For example, the incoming young people from the countryside may exceed the holding capacity of the land area. It is in this context where informal settlements start to arise. The central government is now faced with additional problems of social security. In addition, greater people would mean a greater number of incoming and outgoing vehicles that can lead to traffic congestion if the public transportation system is not well-managed. While it is the daily commuters who will be more affected, the operations of companies will be affected along with the interconnected services. The influx of people from the countryside will indeed bring problems that add to the complexity of cities and towns. As a solution, both the local and central government should work on providing economic opportunities to both the rural and urban populations. The local government of the countryside should focus on improving the potential of the environment. In this way, companies may recognize its economic potential and start investments that would generate job opportunities for the rural population. The central government, in one hand, should decentralize the business district to nearby towns to enable access to rural areas. Solutions would be more effective if it would come from the government that mainly administers programs and policies for the people.
Over the past years, urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns have grown faster than outlying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
mainly
due to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
opportunities. It
is known
for a fact that more jobs
are agglomerated
in the nation’s city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
since this is where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is seated
.
Thus
, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
are driven
to migrate to urban areas.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the declining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
force in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implications observed in both social and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
systems.
For instance
, healthcare expenses
are perceived
to increase with age in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries. Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
those with sickness,
are required
with more medication for maintenance.
Furthermore
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
dominated with elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
has special needs of mobility and accessibility such as the transport system. It would be necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to modify these services according to the needs of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
, it is likely that this scenario will entail much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
cost to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
administration.

On the other hand
, there will
also
be socioeconomic issues brought about by the expanding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns.
For example
, the incoming young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
may exceed the holding capacity of the land
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. It is in this context where informal settlements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to arise. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
faced with additional problems of social security.
In addition
, greater
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would mean a greater number of incoming and outgoing vehicles that can lead to traffic congestion if the public transportation system is not well-managed. While it is the daily commuters who will be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
, the operations of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
along with the interconnected services. The influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
will
indeed
bring problems that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
to the complexity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns.

As a solution, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should work on providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
opportunities to both the rural and urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
populations
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
should focus on improving the potential of the environment. In this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
may recognize its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
potential and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
investments that would generate job opportunities for the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, in one hand, should decentralize the business district to nearby towns to enable access to rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. Solutions would be more effective if it would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
that
mainly
administers programs and policies for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say that due to heavy traffic governments need to build more roads in metropolitan cities, while others argue this isn't the right solution. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
395 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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