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It is believe that the traffic police should apply heavy fines to driver violating the traffic regulation in order to decrease the numbers of road accident. Do you agree or disagree with his idea? v.2

It is believe that the traffic police should apply heavy fines to driver violating the traffic regulation in order to decrease the numbers of road accident. with his idea? v. 2
The numbers of road accidents are growing around the world and these are becoming an issue. To forbid these issues, some people argue that the revising traffic laws are necessary so that any violation of traffic regulations can be heavily charged and which can reduce the traffic accidents. While I understand the necessity to control the driver’s driving habit, the residents may immigrate to another country cannot be ignored. Therefore, the mediate regulation should be recommended. As the car accidents are growing at a rapid rate, approaches to solve these issues are required immediately. One of those approaches is the revising of fine systems so that any violation of traffic laws will be imposed of huge fines. This will put a halt to drivers to violate traffic regulations as they all will be scared of heavy fines. As a result of this, the number of car accidents will be reduced. However, it cannot deny that unreasonably high fines can cause more crimes. In the case of Singapore, for example, they have a strict rule and that binds every movement of people. When you violate of traffic rules, the smallest charges are started from $1, 000 to $50, 000 fines. Due to these high fines with the traffic rules, many Singaporean have left the country and living elsewhere. Therefore, the stronger rules and fines can push habitants to leave the country. It is fact that, the approaches to stop the car accidents because the number of car accident is growing every year as which death caused by road accidents is fatal. However, the solution for the heavy fine can create the public’s backlash by leaving the country just like Singapore. Therefore, it is important to intermediate the range of punishment where the public would not get the backlash. In conclusion, the road accidents are the serious issue in the globe and which cases are increasing every year. Therefore, it is vital to seek a suitable and effective approach to prevent the consequences. However, there will be potential public backlash for the heavy fines; thus, the lesser stronger methods should be recommended.
The numbers of road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are growing around the world and these are becoming an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
. To forbid these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the revising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws are necessary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that any violation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
regulations can be
heavily
charged and which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. While I understand the necessity to control the driver’s driving habit, the residents may immigrate to another country cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, the mediate regulation should
be recommended
.

As the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are growing at a rapid rate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
to solve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issues
are required
immediately. One of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
is the revising of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fine
systems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that any violation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
laws will
be imposed
of huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
. This will put a halt to drivers to violate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
regulations as they all will
be scared
of heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
.
As a result
of this, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

However
, it cannot deny that
unreasonably
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
can cause more crimes. In the case of Singapore,
for example
, they have a strict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rule
and that binds every movement of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. When you violate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
, the smallest charges are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
from $1, 000 to $50, 000
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
. Due to these high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Singaporean have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
the country and living elsewhere.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, the stronger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
can push habitants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the country.

It is fact that, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approaches
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accident
is growing every year as which death caused by road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
is fatal.
However
, the solution for the heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fine
can create the public’s backlash by leaving the country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like Singapore.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to intermediate the range of punishment where the public would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the backlash.

In conclusion
, the road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
are the serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
issue
in the globe and which cases are increasing every year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Therefore
, it is vital to seek a suitable and effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the consequences.
However
, there will be potential public backlash for the heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fines
;
thus
, the lesser stronger methods should
be recommended
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
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Kató Lomb

IELTS essay It is believe that the traffic police should apply heavy fines to driver violating the traffic regulation in order to decrease the numbers of road accident. with his idea? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
350 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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