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It is believe that the traffic police should apply heavy fines to driver violating the traffic regulation in order to decrease the numbers of road accident. Do you agree or disagree with his idea? v.1

It is believe that the traffic police should apply heavy fines to driver violating the traffic regulation in order to decrease the numbers of road accident. with his idea? v. 1
Young children in some parts of the United states of America are prohibited to roam alone later than a particular time of the day. I believe, this is a step taken to ensure the safety of children because criminals often remain active by night and children are the most inviting target for them to kidnap. In addition, teenagers during peak hours are stopped going out to prevent accidents since the traffic is high. Culprits prefer committing a crime with a child than an adult. For example, in America only thousand of children are transported to other countries by mafia operators. It is because, kids are easy not only to mould, but also mislead. Therefore, the volume of crimes: kidnaping, sexual abuse and human trafficking is much higher with juveniles. So, it is the duty of government to restrict kids at home in order to ensure safety. Hence, imposing curfew for kids after certain hours of a day is a beneficial step. Another welcoming reason of restriction on children to come out is traffic. It is often seen that children fatalities are frequent, either in morning or late evening rush hours. The reason is very common- high traffic rate. While the kids lack awareness of traffic rules, it is better if they accompany their parents or adults. Thus, I believe it is an ideal way of preventing them from road accidents. To conclude, prohibition on kids to enter some areas during some specific timings is beneficial to control crimes against them, as well as ensuring safety from fatal accidents.
Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parts of the
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
United states of America
are prohibited
to roam alone later than a particular time of the day. I believe, this is a step taken to ensure the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
criminals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
remain active by night and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are the most inviting target for them to kidnap.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
during peak hours are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
going out to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
accidents since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
is high.

Culprits prefer committing a crime with a child than an adult.
For example
, in America
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thousand of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are transported
to other countries by mafia operators. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are easy not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'mould' is British English.
mould
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
mislead.
Therefore
, the volume of crimes:
Possible spelling mistake found.
kidnaping
, sexual abuse and human trafficking is much higher with juveniles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is the duty of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
at home in order to ensure safety.
Hence
, imposing curfew for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
after certain hours of a day is a beneficial step.

Another welcoming reason of restriction on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fatalities are frequent, either in morning or late evening rush hours. The reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common- high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
rate. While the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
lack awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, it is better if they accompany their parents or adults.
Thus
, I believe it is an ideal way of preventing them from road accidents.

To conclude
, prohibition on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to enter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas during
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
specific timings is beneficial to control crimes against them,
as well
as ensuring safety from fatal accidents.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay It is believe that the traffic police should apply heavy fines to driver violating the traffic regulation in order to decrease the numbers of road accident. with his idea? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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