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Some say old people should continue to work, if their condition allows them to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some say old people should continue to work, if their condition allows them to do so. v. 2
As long as elder people stay healthy, they should maintain their job. This essay agrees with this statement because grand-parents have greater experience and can earn a higher income. It is true that if a person gets older, they gain more experience than any other. This is due to gaining more useful skills and working for a long time. Having said that, a company that has an elderly in their job can improve the productivity of the business as they know how the system works. For example, the majority of IELTS examiners are old people because they are highly experienced and have knowledge of how to expertly evaluate an essay. If a young adult with little experience takes in the role, then it would lead to disappointment to the candidates. What' s more, the corporation' s business will not run as planned and therefore, fewer students will apply for the worthless test. Another advantage to hold is that an old person can have a higher salary than their intern due to their experienced skills. Moreover, they could receive recognition and be an asset to the company. This would allow them to be placed in higher executive positions which can eventually increase their salary. Who else does not want to work when the job is offering you a huge income? Thus, they are likely to escape huge debts. Moreover, young workers can inspire and learn more capabilities from the elderly. To recapitulate, it seems to me that working during an old era can bring in more clients to the company and also receive more money.
As long as elder
people
stay healthy, they should maintain their job. This essay
agrees
with this statement
because
grand-parents have greater experience and can earn a higher income.

It is true that if a person
gets
older, they gain more experience than any other. This is due to gaining more useful
skills
and working for a long time. Having said that, a
company
that has an elderly in their job can
improve
the productivity of the business as they know how the system works.
For example
, the majority of IELTS examiners are
old
people
because
they are
highly
experienced and have knowledge of how to
expertly
evaluate an essay. If a young adult with
little
experience takes in the role, then it would lead to disappointment to the candidates.
What&
#039; s more, the
corporation&
#039; s business will not run as planned and
therefore
, fewer students will apply for the worthless
test
.

Another advantage to hold is that an
old
person can have a higher salary than their intern due to their experienced
skills
.
Moreover
, they could receive recognition and be an asset to the
company
. This would
allow
them to
be placed
in higher executive positions which can
eventually
increase their salary. Who else does not want to work when the job is offering you a huge income?
Thus
, they are likely to escape huge debts.
Moreover
, young workers can inspire and learn more capabilities from the elderly.

To recapitulate, it seems to me that working during an
old
era can bring in more clients to the
company
and
also
receive more money.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some say old people should continue to work, if their condition allows them to do so. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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