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People believe that being literate in English allows you to acquire better jobs and thus allows one to have access to a better standard of living. Up to what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? v.2

People believe that being literate in English allows you to acquire better jobs and thus allows one to have access to a better standard of living. Up with the statement? v. 2
Nowadays, there are several individuals who believe that excelling in English will make you achieve a balanced job and will let oneself able to maintain a good standard of living. I completely agree with the given statement. Further, the essay will discuss the benefits of being a master in English and the ways through which we can achieve our aims. Some of the benefits we can showcase here are: Firstly, individuals who are well versed in the language will be able to crack the examinations and can get themselves easily placed in an international organization. Secondly, awareness of language may impact their kid’s surroundings positively in order to build a more secure future for them and by doing this they can stand out, a way different in society. Moreover, there are certain ways via which individuals may achieve their objectives such as Firstly, individuals must maintain a routine of reading newspaper or a book without a miss. Although, by doing this they will be able to improve their vocabulary and which in turn will improve their writing skills as well. Secondly, good communication skills take, part as an important role in everyone’s living. Individuals must make an effort to interact in English with their peers, friends & colleagues. This step will give a boost to their language and altogether improve their speaking skills infinitely. To conclude that Hence, the Language of English will bring more prosperity in the individual’s existence and they will be able to survive without any hassle in any part of the country or the world.
Nowadays, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who believe that excelling in English will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you achieve a balanced job and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
oneself
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to maintain a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
standard of living.

I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement.
Further
, the essay will discuss the benefits of being a master in English and the ways through which we can achieve our aims.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
benefits we can showcase here are:
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
who are well versed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to crack the examinations and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
themselves
easily
placed in an international organization.
Secondly
, awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
may impact their kid’s surroundings
positively
in order to build a more secure future for them and by doing this they can stand out, a way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in society.

Moreover
, there are certain ways via which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
may achieve their objectives such as
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
maintain a routine of reading newspaper or a book without a miss. Although, by doing this they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their vocabulary and which in turn will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their writing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as well
.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
take, part as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in everyone’s living.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to interact in English with their peers, friends & colleagues. This step will give a boost to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
and altogether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
infinitely
.

To conclude
that
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Language
of English will bring more prosperity in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
existence and
they will be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to survive without any hassle in any part of the country or the world.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay People believe that being literate in English allows you to acquire better jobs and thus allows one to have access to a better standard of living. Up with the statement? v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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