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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Computers and the internet help to make school assignments faster and easier to complete. v.138

Computers and the internet help to make school assignments faster and easier to complete. v. 138
Wildlife deterioration is one of the government concerns, the government has invested a large amount of money into it to maintain and protect. While some people are arguing that there a lot more vital projects and essential issues appear more importance. From my perspective, I concur with government idea, but also the government should pay more attention to many factors such as health and education. Indeed, wildlife sustains as an integral role in many aspects, can be much of benefit to the economy in term of prospective tourism. Which is country growth, a flourishing tourism can significantly increase the government general revenue. For example, Indonesia’s economic organization has reported that the country gains a 5% increase in revenue from tourist, thanks to the enormous diversity creatures the country possesses. Without a doubt, wildlife is necessary. But the authority should also consider and optimize the vast amount needed to be poured into like health and education. First, spending in education is vital priority for any country, an educated social can influence to the economics and survival of the country. Second, health is an urgent problem demanded the authority to develop hospital and healthcare facilities. For instance, Korea have spent 2. 6 billion into health system, which a 2, 9% increase from last year, show that health is a determine factor to country stabilizes. Thus, money should be spent wisely in many crucial projects. In conclusion, many people believe that the government shouldn’t spend more on unimportance sector like wildlife and the one importance shouldn’t be neglected. From my view, they ought to use the money adequately more in essential areas like health and education and decrease in protecting wildlife.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Wildlife
deterioration is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
concerns, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has invested a large amount of money into it to maintain and protect. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are arguing that there a lot more vital projects and essential issues appear more importance. From my perspective, I concur with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should pay more attention to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education.

Indeed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
sustains as an integral role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects, can be much of benefit to the economy in term of prospective tourism. Which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
growth, a flourishing tourism can
significantly
increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
general revenue.
For example
, Indonesia’s economic organization has reported that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
gains a 5% increase in revenue from tourist, thanks to the enormous diversity creatures the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
possesses.

Without a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
is necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the authority should
also
consider and optimize the vast amount needed to
be poured
into like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education.
First
, spending in education is vital priority for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, an educated social can influence to the economics and survival of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is an urgent problem demanded the authority to develop hospital and healthcare facilities.
For instance
, Korea have spent 2. 6 billion into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
system, which a 2, 9% increase from last year,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'determine' is correct. If 'determine' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a determine
factor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
stabilizes.
Thus
, money should
be spent
wisely
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucial projects.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
shouldn’t spend more on
Possible spelling mistake found.
unimportance
sector like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
and the one importance shouldn’t
be neglected
. From my view, they ought to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the money
adequately
more in essential areas like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and education and decrease in protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wildlife
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Computers and the internet help to make school assignments faster and easier to complete. v. 138

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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