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Some peple think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the coutryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v.1

Some peple think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the coutryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 1
Knowledge is perceived as a very key factor in life. One's band of knowledge will determine how great or successful an individual will be. A student with great intellectual state of reasoning has a very high tendency to excel in life endeavours. Knowledge is a virtue which makes someone stand out at all time. This is a key course in the life of every child and it is therefore very good to give it a careful attention. Reasoning can either be inherited or as a factor influenced by the environment. In this essay, I will like to speak about intelligence as being influenced by the environmental factors. Often at times I have noticed that urban dwellers tend to think faster, sharper and better in their deliveries. Having the right amenities at your disposal will greatly influence your level of reasoning. Living in a settlement where you have people of equal minds will greatly affect your reasoning and thereby help you to think greatly. Access to social media can also be a factor to consider because, this exposes the child to new discoveries which will enhance his or her intellectual trait Nevertheless, intelligence can either be genetically influenced or inherited from the parents. According to the medical scientist, parents with high level of reasoning stand a chance to replicate themselves. That is what we can see in the likes of Bush's family in United State. This alone is a big proof that intellectual skill can as well be inherited from the parents. Conclusively, either of the two aforementioned points are responsible for a child's status of knowledge thou the best of it is the environmental cause which I believe is known to all.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
is perceived
as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
key factor in life. One's band of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
will determine how great or successful an individual will be. A student with great intellectual state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasoning
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high tendency to excel in life
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavours' is British English.
endeavours
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
is a virtue which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "stands", "stood".
stand
out at all time. This is a key course in the life of every child and it is
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to give it a careful attention.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Reasoning
can either
be inherited
or as a factor influenced by the environment. In this essay, I
Did you mean "would"?
will
like to speak about intelligence as
being influenced
by the environmental factors.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
at times I have noticed that urban dwellers tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
faster, sharper and better in their deliveries. Having the right amenities at your disposal will
greatly
influence your level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasoning
. Living in a settlement where you have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of equal minds will
greatly
affect your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasoning
and thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
greatly
. Access to social media can
also
be a factor to consider
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, this exposes the child to new discoveries which will enhance
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
intellectual trait

Nevertheless
, intelligence can either be
genetically
influenced or inherited from the parents. According to the medical scientist, parents with high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasoning
stand a chance to replicate themselves.
That is
what we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in the likes of Bush's family in United State. This alone is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
proof that intellectual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
can
as well
be inherited
from the parents.

Conclusively
, either of the two aforementioned points are responsible for a child's status of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
thou the best of it is the environmental cause which I believe
is known
to all.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some peple think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the coutryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
282 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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