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Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v.2

Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 2
Some people believe that living in the cities much better than life in urban areas, however other part of people do not support this idea and think that, the countryside is the best choice. Personally, I partly agree with this opinions and I am of the view that each of them unique in their own way. In this essay I will explore my ideas with reasons and examples before coming to a conclusion. On the one hand, the main benefit of living in the towns is more opportunities than villages. People, which live in the urban areas have not problems with Internet: they can easily find any kind of information with one click, with transportation: people can catch transport from morning to evening, with public utilities: gas, light, water always work and available non stop. Another fatty plus is plenty of entertainment centres like parks, theatres, museums, art galleries, zoo parks and cinemas. Young children really keen on from this type of places and spend most of the time they're also even children from rural areas come to cities special for enjoying from entertainment centres. Unfortunately, there some drawbacks of living in the cities, especially among teenagers and children. There is air pollution, which harmful for children's body and organism and which still the major problem in the big cities. On the other hand, there are so many advantages of life in the countryside. First of all it is quite life surrounded by spectacular mountains, quiet life away from noisy city. Next important point is that people from rural areas much more polite, friendly and transparent rather than city's population. Because they live in a small area and probably know each other. But, isolation is a major problem in villages. They have not such opportunities such as urban areas and all advantages about opportunities which I have shown above Impossible in rural areas. To sum up, when we analyse the issue in depth, it becomes crystal clear that living in circles has a bit more advantages, according to enjoy from modern chances than live in the countryside, however it is really depends on a person's taste and no one cannot say that, one area can absolutely overweight other.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
much better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not support this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, the countryside is the best choice.
Personally
, I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with
Did you mean "these"?
this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
opinions and
I am of the view that each of them unique in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way. In this essay I will explore my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
with reasons and examples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
coming to a conclusion.

On the one hand, the main benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the towns is more opportunities than villages.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
have not problems with Internet: they can
easily
find any kind of information with one click, with transportation:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can catch transport from morning to evening, with public utilities: gas, light, water always work and available non
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
. Another fatty plus is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of entertainment
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
like parks,
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, museums, art galleries, zoo parks and cinemas. Young children
really
keen on from this type of places and spend most of the time they're
also
even children from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
special for enjoying from entertainment
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
. Unfortunately, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
especially
among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
and children. There is air pollution, which harmful for children's body and organism and which
still
the major problem in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in the countryside.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
it is quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
surrounded by spectacular mountains, quiet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
away from noisy city.
Next
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
much more polite, friendly and transparent
rather
than city's population.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
and
probably
know each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, isolation is a major problem in villages. They have not such opportunities such as urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and all advantages about opportunities which I have shown above Impossible in rural areas.

To sum up, when we
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the issue in depth, it becomes crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in circles has a bit more advantages, according to enjoy from modern chances than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the countryside,
however
it is
really
depends on a person's taste and no one cannot say that, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
can
absolutely
overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think it is better for children to grown up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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