Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Other think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.22

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Other think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 22
Changing multiple commercial domains in the professional career is the aim of certain people. While, some think it is better to serve a single business domain throughout their working life. I personally think that changing a job after a certain period of time is a benficial strategy. This essay will discuss this scenario, by considering the opinion of both sides by using the examples of Oxford University research and Time Magazine survey to demonstrate the points and support the claims. On the one hand, some people don't want to take risk in their working life. Therefore, they don’t like to change their jobs because of this factor. Furthermore, they fear that there is a chance that they will get worse working conditions, if they change the job. For example, Oxford University in 2015 researched that the people who are not curious to change their job are those who think that a job change is like playing a gamble. So from this example, it is clear that fear is the factor which bind the employees, all their working life in one organization. On the other hand, some people contradict this thinking, by saying that, if you will not challenge your life you will not calculate your own worth. Additionally, changing jobs at regular intervals will open new horizons of knowledge as in different organizations, they have their own challenges. Similarly, a survey of Times Magazine in 2018 suggests the same idea that 60% of UK professionals will change jobs frequently to educate themselves with the new challenges of the organization. So, from this example, it is clear that frequent job changing will increase your professional skills. To conclude, multiple job changes will give you more confidence, boost your morale and decrease your fear of job change. So, it is better to change jobs on frequent basis rather than sticking to one job. In the future, those who will not change jobs at regular intervals will not be able to compete in this world.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Changing
multiple commercial domains in the professional career is the aim of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is better to serve a single business domain throughout their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
after a certain period of time is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
benficial
strategy. This essay will discuss this scenario, by considering the opinion of both sides by using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
examples
of Oxford University research and Time Magazine survey to demonstrate the points and support the claims.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't want to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Therefore
, they don’t like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
because of this
factor.
Furthermore
, they fear that there is a chance that they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
worse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
conditions, if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, Oxford University in 2015 researched that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are not curious to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is like playing a gamble.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that fear is the factor which bind the employees, all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in one organization.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contradict this thinking, by saying that, if you will not challenge your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
you will not calculate your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
worth.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at regular intervals will open new horizons of knowledge as in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
organizations, they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
challenges.
Similarly
, a survey of Times Magazine in 2018 suggests the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that 60% of UK professionals will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
frequently
to educate themselves with the new challenges of the organization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, from this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
will increase your professional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

To conclude
, multiple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
will give you more confidence, boost your morale and decrease your fear of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
on frequent basis
rather
than sticking to one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In the future, those who will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
at regular intervals will not be able to compete in this world.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Other think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 22

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts