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Some people believe that the main environmental problems of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people believe that the main environmental problems of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 3
In this modern era, although humans have a large number of convenient facilities and amenities, they are suffering from many detrimental environmental distractions. Some argue that the most critical issue is the decrease of particular species of plants and animals, yet others believe that there are more dreadful problems. In my opinion, I support both viewpoints as each has its own reasons. To begin with, there are two prominent reasons why the reduction of several species would cause negative effects on the environment. First of all, the loss of some plants and animals might lead to the ecosystem imbalance. Since some trees or plants are commonly the source of foodstuff for various wild animals and some smaller animals are preys of others that are bigger, thus, it might become lack of fare for feral ones. For instance, bamboo is the bear’s favorite meals or fish are the main rations source of polar bears. Secondly, the loss of several specific plants might affect adversely on the economy. If rice became extinct one day, it would definitely bring about many destructive consequences for Asian countries. As rice is not only the vital food supply of Asian people, but also contributes to the high export in the world. On the other hand, there are a variety of other environmental issues on earth. The most serious one is the rise in temperature, it has a detrimental impact on both humans and animals. High temperature results in various severe disasters such as drought, thunderstorm, earthquake and flood that would affect agriculture and people’s lives. In addition, the melting of ice has bad influence on polar bears, many of them have died as they could not endure the hot weather. Furthermore, air pollution or water pollution cause negative impacts on lives, such as shortage of clean water and asthma due to polluted air. By way of conclusion, it is undeniable that the biodiversity, human’s lives and the economy would be badly affected is some kinds of plants and animals are on the verge of extinction and the earth has to suffer from other environmental problems. In my view, we should not take any environmental issues for granted as they affect directly on our surroundings.
In this modern era, although humans have
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
convenient facilities and amenities, they are suffering from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
detrimental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
distractions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue that the most critical issue is the decrease of particular species of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
,
yet
others believe that there are more dreadful problems. In my opinion, I support both viewpoints as each has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are two prominent reasons why the reduction of several species would cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the environment.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the loss of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
might lead to the ecosystem imbalance. Since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
trees or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
are
commonly
the source of foodstuff for various wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
smaller
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are preys of others that are bigger,
thus
, it might become lack of fare for feral ones.
For instance
, bamboo is the bear’s favorite meals or fish are the main rations source of polar bears.
Secondly
, the loss of several specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
might affect
adversely
on the economy. If rice became extinct one day, it would definitely bring about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
destructive consequences for Asian countries. As rice is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the vital food supply of Asian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
contributes to the high export in the world.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues on earth. The most serious one is the rise in temperature, it has a detrimental impact on both humans and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. High temperature results in various severe disasters such as drought, thunderstorm, earthquake and flood that would affect agriculture and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
In addition
, the melting of ice has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence on polar bears,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
died
as they could not endure the hot weather.
Furthermore
, air pollution or water pollution cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, such as shortage of clean water and asthma due to polluted air.

By way of conclusion, it is undeniable that the biodiversity, human’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and the economy would be
badly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are on the verge of extinction and the earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems. In my view, we should not take any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues for granted as they affect
directly
on our surroundings.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that the main environmental problems of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
368 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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