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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.17

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 17
It is true that some people are comfortably settled in their workspace and refuse to switch organisations. However, there are those who like to experience change. In this essay, I will discuss both of these behaviours and share my own views. There are certainly some benefits to sticking to the same job. To start with, people who stay loyal to a company are more likely to be promoted to higher positions. This is particularly true in sectors that value experience. Also, by working in the same company they can create a comfort zone around them. They are more likely to enjoy a good rapport with their colleagues and even seniors. This insulates them from many work related problems. In addition, loyalty is still valued by most organizations and people who choose to work in the same office are more likely to receive various perks and incentives. Better still, they are the last ones to lose their jobs in case of a recession. On the other hand, there are many more benefits of changing jobs whenever new opportunities present themselves. The biggest benefit is the opportunity to acquire diverse experiences. When a person starts a job, it is not always possible for them to predict whether they will enjoy it or not. If, after working at a company for one or two years, they discover that this is not the right job for them, it is always better to resign and find another job. Another advantage of changing jobs frequently is that it may enable a person to get a raise or a promotion more easily. For example, if they work in the same organization it may take a low level employee several years to get promoted to a mid or high level employee. This is because organizations tend to have a hierarchal system and it is not always possible to skip the steps of the ladder. When they change jobs, however, they may get to occupy a higher position as soon as they start. Of course, this is true only in the case of highly sought after professionals with unique skill sets. Sometimes changing jobs is the only way to get the raise or promotion a person deserves. Not every organization values talent and those who find themselves stuck at a place that does not do justice to them, quitting is the best option. To conclude, working at different places while gathering knowledge and experience is a more sensible and faster approach to reach a high position in your work-specialisation than working at the same place. This is because climbing the hierarchy at one particular place would take many-many years as it is difficult to replace the top position holders.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
comfortably
settled in their workspace and refuse to switch
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.
However
, there are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. In this essay, I will discuss both of these
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
and share my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
views.

There are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits to sticking to the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
stay loyal to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
are more likely to
be promoted
to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
. This is
particularly
true in sectors that value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Also
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
in the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
they can create a comfort zone around them. They are more likely to enjoy a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
rapport with their colleagues and even seniors. This insulates them from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
work related problems.
In addition
, loyalty is
still
valued by most
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
choose to work in the same office are more likely to receive various perks and incentives. Better
still
, they are the last ones to lose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in case of a recession.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more benefits of changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
whenever new opportunities present themselves. The biggest benefit is the opportunity to acquire diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. When a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
starts
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, it is not always possible for them to predict whether they will enjoy it or not. If, after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
for one or two years, they discover that this is not the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
for them, it is always better to resign and find another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Another advantage of changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
frequently
is that it may enable a person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a raise or a promotion more
easily
.
For example
, if they work in the same
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
it may take a low level employee several years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted to a mid or high level employee. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organizations
tend to have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
hierarchal
system and it is not always possible to skip the steps of the ladder. When they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
however
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to occupy a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
.
Of course
, this is true
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the case of
highly
sought after professionals with unique
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
sets.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the raise or promotion a person deserves. Not every
Do not mix variants of the same word ('organization' and 'organisation') within a single text.
organization
values talent and those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
find themselves stuck at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
that does not do justice to them, quitting is the best option.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
while gathering knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
is a more sensible and faster approach to reach a high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in your
Possible spelling mistake found.
work-specialisation
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
climbing the hierarchy at one particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
would take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years as it is difficult to replace the top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
holders.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
450 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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