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Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.16

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 16
Some people think that lawbreakers should be sent to jail. However, others think that better talents among those should be made to work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Because obeying a law is one of the keystones in civil governments, who runs counter to this is punished by governmental institutions. Discussions are held about being in prison or alternative punishment which would be better for person who committed a crime. This essay will discuss the debate, and give a concluding view. On the one hand, as who support the sending lawbreakers to prison, one of the significant factors is security of mankind. If offenders were in freedom after their punishment, they would be dangerous for others too. For example, statistical results show us because of not being busted lawbreakers can carry out new crimes again. A second factor is the regeneration of criminals. After sending to prison they face-to-face some restrictions which are important to form their positive opinions, and all of these limitations are able to help to change their future life. For instance, because of not encountering any restraints lawbreakers, most of which were put in prison by courts, try not to commit an offence again. However, opponents think that chance must be given also offenders. People, who are criminal, can regenerate without prison sentence, because this so-called unexpected compassion of government to them would be an impact on their behaviour positive. To conclude, sending to prison or alternative punishment has to depend on the type of crimes. If a crime was petty, governmental institutions should not receive lawbreakers imprisonment, on the contrary, if a crime was violent, the offender must be put to prison.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lawbreakers
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
to jail.
However
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that better talents among those should
be made
to work. Discuss both views and give your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
obeying a law is one of the keystones in civil
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
runs counter to this
is punished
by governmental institutions. Discussions
are held
about being in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
or alternative punishment which would be better for person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
committed a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. This essay will discuss the debate, and give a concluding view.

On the one hand, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
support the sending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lawbreakers
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
, one of the significant factors is security of mankind. If offenders were in freedom after their punishment, they would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for others too.
For example
, statistical results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not
being busted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lawbreakers
can carry out new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
again. A second factor is the regeneration of criminals. After sending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
they face-to-face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
restrictions which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to form their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
opinions, and all of these limitations are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their future life.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not encountering any restraints
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lawbreakers
, most of which
were put
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
by courts, try not to commit an
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
again.

However
, opponents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that chance
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
also
offenders.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are criminal, can regenerate without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
sentence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
-called unexpected compassion of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to them would be an impact on their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
.

To conclude
, sending to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
or alternative punishment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
depend on the type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was petty, governmental institutions should not receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lawbreakers
imprisonment,
on the contrary
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
was violent, the offender
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be put
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. v. 16

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
280 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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