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Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. v.7

Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. v. 7
These days, the existence of cinemas is a hot topic of discussion for not only the journalist but also common folk. Many daily's features and public debates topic have been focusing this issue. Though millions support the opinion of the silver screen will exist in future, I strongly hold the view that the silver screen era will be taken its last breath soon. One of the obvious reasons: advanced televisions and other electronic gadgets facilitate to watch all visual media programme, including films, from the home settings. These facilities cut down the number of cinema customers significantly. Moreover, cinemas mostly cost an arm and a leg for common folk. Televisions breach this barrier considerably. To cite an example, recent  UK statistical department study reveals that the ticket sale of the cinema has significantly declined on Sunday evening because of a popular television music show  aired the same time. Another reason to support my view is that the live football, cricket and music concert attract massive public attention. They give a complete visual treat, which can not be offered by many cinemas. Furthermore, these kinds of live activities explore several avenues of entertainment than cinemas. Increasing the number of music and sports events is the best epitome for public acceptance. However, an army of people argues that cinema world will not be lost because of the new talented artists will come to the silver screen soon. Perhaps it may be true to some degree, but we can not deny that the other medium of entertainment will also offer high quality of participants’ perfectionism. To crown it all, the other mode of entertainment will shut the popularity of cinema in the future, though some new talented actors and moviemakers will appear in the cinema world in future.
These days, the existence of
cinemas
is a hot topic of discussion for not
only
the journalist
but
also
common folk.
Many
daily's features and public
debates
topic have been focusing this issue. Though millions support the opinion of the silver screen will exist
in future
, I
strongly
hold the view that the silver screen era will
be taken
its last breath
soon
.

One of the obvious reasons: advanced televisions and other electronic gadgets facilitate to
watch
all visual media
programme
, including films, from the home settings. These facilities
cut
down the number of
cinema
customers
significantly
.
Moreover
,
cinemas
mostly
cost an arm and a leg for common folk. Televisions breach this barrier
considerably
. To cite an example, recent
 
UK statistical department study reveals that the ticket sale of the
cinema
has
significantly
declined on Sunday evening
because
of a popular television music
show
 
aired the same time.

Another reason to support my view is that the
live
football, cricket and music concert attract massive public attention. They give a complete visual treat, which can not
be offered
by
many
cinemas
.
Furthermore
, these kinds of
live
activities explore several avenues of entertainment than
cinemas
. Increasing the number of music and sports
events
is the best epitome for public acceptance.

However
, an army of
people
argues that
cinema
world will not
be lost
because
of the new talented artists will
come
to the silver screen
soon
. Perhaps it may be true to
some
degree,
but
we can not deny that the other medium of entertainment will
also
offer high quality of participants’ perfectionism.

To crown it all, the other mode of entertainment will shut the popularity of
cinema
in the future, though
some
new talented actors and
moviemakers
will appear in the
cinema
world
in future
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. v. 7

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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