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Due to the change in women’s roles in modern society, men are now the ones suffering from sexual discrimination. v.1

Due to the change in women’s roles in modern society, men are now the ones suffering from sexual discrimination. v. 1
Discrimination between the man and the woman is a burning issue to discuss. The roles of men and women have changed in the society than it was 20 years ago and this change is faster these days. With the advancement of time, now women are dominant in different roles while men are suffering the sexual disparities. I agree with the statement and the reasons behind the agreement are as followed. Earlier, before 2000, women were subject to be dominated everywhere. They had the typical roles to care for the home. But after the millennium, a sudden change took place everywhere. The majority of the women became aware of their rights, responsibilities and changed their roles. The woman who used to be escorted by family members is now free to move anywhere, runs her own business, makes deals perfectly, and leads her own life. Undoubtedly this is a positive change in their roles. But with that, a growing number of women are now denying their responsibility for their family and men are helpless in this regards. The positive changes have made women independent and are prioritised in all sectors of development, economy, education, healthcare, jobs etc. But unfortunately, they are replacing the roles of men. They are occupying the positions of men and dominating the world. As a result, now males are turning subject to sexual discrimination as the women experienced in yester decades. The hanged scenarios led males to be less prioritised in different sectors, especially the most important sector - employment. The discrimination is visible when a university decides the reserve 50% seats for the women or the local parliament have a certain percentage of seats reserved for the women. I had such a real-life experience in last month. I went for an interview with a multinational corporation against the position of Junior executive. I was surprised that the corporation decided to recruit females more in number than males in that position. We were only three male applicants competing for a single post while there were 15 women against 10 chairs of junior executives. The experience evidently testifies women are more engaged with out of home activities and the roles they played before changed greatly which now suffers men in terms to sexual discrimination.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Discrimination
between the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
and the woman is a burning issue to discuss. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
in the society than it was 20 years ago and this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is faster these days. With the advancement of time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are dominant in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are suffering the sexual disparities. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and the reasons behind the agreement are as followed.

Earlier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
2000,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
were subject to
be dominated
everywhere. They had the typical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
to care for the home.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after the millennium, a sudden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
took place everywhere. The majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
became aware of their rights, responsibilities and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
. The woman who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be escorted
by family members is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
free to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
anywhere, runs her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
deals
perfectly
, and leads her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.
Undoubtedly
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with that, a growing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
denying their responsibility for their family and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
are helpless in
Did you mean "these"?
this
regards.

The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
independent and are
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
in all sectors of development, economy, education, healthcare, jobs etc.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
unfortunately, they are replacing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
. They are occupying the positions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
and dominating the world.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
are turning subject to sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
experienced in
Possible spelling mistake found.
yester
decades. The hanged scenarios led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
to be less
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors,
especially
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sector
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
employment. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
is visible when a university decides the reserve 50% seats for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
or the local parliament have a certain percentage of seats reserved for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
. I had such a real-life experience in last month. I went for an interview with a multinational corporation against the position of Junior executive.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
was surprised
that the corporation decided to recruit females more in number than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
in that position. We were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
three male applicants competing for a single post while there were 15
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
against 10 chairs of junior executives.

The experience
evidently
testifies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are more engaged
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
of home activities and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roles
they played
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
greatly
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
now
suffers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
men
in terms to sexual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
discrimination
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Due to the change in women’s roles in modern society, men are now the ones suffering from sexual discrimination. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
375 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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