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Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. v.6

Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. v. 6
Cinema is the entertainment mode for many people. It is the most affordable recreational activity which comes in handy for all kinds of people. If we see the development in the field of cinema, there has been a tremendous development in the field of the silver screen. In the past, cinema houses were limited but people used to go to cinema houses due to the inadequacy of entertainment media in houses. As the technology developed, the technical advancements in the field of home entertainment made entertainment more affordable. This affordability made all to have their own entertainment systems. This change led to the downing trend of the people’s interest to the cinema houses. Eventually, after a certain period in the future, people might not be coming to the silver screen houses rather they would be liking to sit at home and enjoy. If we see the recent number of people attending to a cinema house, we have to agree to the fact that there has been a considerable drop in the number of people attending cinema houses. As far as my opinion is concerned, the euphoria of the silver screen is diminishing and it would not be surprised to note that people in future do not go to cinema house. If we consider an example of the cinema viewing experience, South India is a good example people used to see a movie in cinema hall and the released movie used to play in the allocated hall for at least 80 days but if we see the present situation a new movie in an allocated hall stays hardly for 2 to 4 weeks. There is a considerable drop in the viewing experience of people, the reason behind this is the availability of home entertainment, access to various other programs which are attractive than movies, piracy, change in lifestyle, competitive world bulldozed by career goals. Not only this, few of the movies which are made now are not attractive in comparison with the movies of the earlier era, they do not possess entertainment values. From the above, it can be adjudged that silver screen is definitely coming to extinction, maybe not in the near future but after a certain period of time, the cinema houses would stand as a monumental piece.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cinema
is the entertainment mode for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is the most affordable recreational activity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in handy for all kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the development in the field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
, there has been a tremendous development in the field of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
. In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
were limited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
due to the inadequacy of entertainment media in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
.

As the technology developed, the technical advancements in the field of home entertainment made entertainment more affordable. This affordability made all to have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
entertainment systems. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
led to the downing trend of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
interest to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
.
Eventually
, after a certain period in the future,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
might not be coming to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
rather
they would
The verb 'liking' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
be liking
to sit at home and enjoy.

If we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the recent number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attending to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the fact that there has been a considerable drop in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
. As far as my opinion
is concerned
, the euphoria of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
is diminishing and it would not
be surprised
to note that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in future do not go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
house
. If we consider an example of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
viewing experience, South India is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
hall and the released
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to play in the allocated hall for at least 80 days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the present situation a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
in an allocated hall stays hardly for 2 to 4 weeks. There is a considerable drop in the viewing experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the reason behind this is the availability of home entertainment, access to various other programs which are attractive than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
, piracy,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in lifestyle, competitive world bulldozed by career goals. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
this, few of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
which
are made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are not attractive
in comparison
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
of the earlier era, they do not possess entertainment values.

From the above, it can
be adjudged
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
silver
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
is definitely coming to extinction, maybe not in the near future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after a certain period of time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
houses
would stand as a monumental piece.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people warn that the era of the silver screen is coming to an end and that people will eventually lose interest in going to the cinema. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
379 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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