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Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work for a small company. Which one would you prefer? v.5

Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work for a small company. Which one would you prefer? v. 5
The issue whether working for a large company is better than working for a small company is a controversial one. From my everyday experience and observation, I think that every option has its advantages and disadvantages. I base my opinion on the following points. From the one side working for a large company brings many benefits. First of all, one has better medical insurance, higher salary. Often employees of a large company have less responsibility. Moreover, they feel more secure because their company has more clients and this means better chance to survive on the modern market. However, one working for a large company has less chance to be promoted because one's manager does not want to lose his or her job unless she or he is promoted too. Also, from my observation, managers of a large company do not pay much attention to one's solutions and suggestions. From the other side working for a small company has many advantages too. Firstly, one has better chance to be promoted. Secondly, one can talk to the owner of the company about any improvements that can be done in order to get more profit. Another important aspect of working for a small company is the opportunities to find out more about how a company works. As a result of this one can gain more experience and get better recommendations. However, this also has some disadvantages. For instance, one can get less salary, worse medical benefits, etc. To sum up, I think that every person chooses for himself what he or she wants. If one wants a better career and more responsibilities then a small company is a better choice. Otherwise, working for a large company may be a good option too.
The issue whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is a controversial one. From my everyday experience and observation, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every option has its advantages and disadvantages. I base my opinion on the following points.

From the one side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
medical insurance, higher salary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Often
employees of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
have less responsibility.
Moreover
, they feel more secure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has more clients and this means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to survive on the modern market.
However
, one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has less chance to
be promoted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
one's manager does not want to lose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
job unless she or he
is promoted
too.
Also
, from my observation, managers of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
do not pay much attention to one's solutions and suggestions.

From the other side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages too.
Firstly
, one has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
chance to
be promoted
.
Secondly
, one can talk to the owner of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
about any improvements that can
be done
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more profit. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is the opportunities to find out more about how a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
works.
As a result
of this one can gain more experience and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
recommendations.
However
, this
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
For instance
, one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less salary, worse medical benefits, etc.

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that every person chooses for himself what he or she wants. If one wants a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
career and
Did you mean "more responsibilities than"?
more responsibilities then
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
choice.
Otherwise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
may be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option too.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people prefer to work for a large company. Others prefer to work for a small company. Which one would you prefer? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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