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Some people want government to spend money on life on other planets. However, others think it is a waste of public money when the earth already has so many problems. Discuss both views and give you own v.1

Some people want government to spend money on life on other planets. However, others think it is a waste of public money when the earth already has so many problems. 1
In today’s technologically advanced world, where field of astronomy has reached the zenith of success, making it possible for man to reach other planets of the universe. Some section of the society supports this development. Whereas, others have contrasting views. In my opinion. Research investments in such an important field is crucial. However, it should be carried out by only developed and affluent nations, having ample resources to meet the basic necessities of its citizenry. Firstly, considering the current global challenges related to fossil fuel depletion, shortage of natural energy, water scarcity etc. it is imminent that natural resources would soon be depleted. Therefore, it is must for scientist to explore alternate means of energy, for which other planets are inevitably the first potential candidates for natural resources. For instance, scientist have recently discovered a special chemical on planet Venus, which has potential of being useful in treating various diseases. Secondly, with ever increasing population on earth, sooner or later additional space would be required, for which life on other objects is first and only option. Furthermore, with development of technology, we can consider other planets to be a good future tourist spot, provided we successfully identify one at first place. On the other hand, considering the current global economic unrest. Especially in numerous African and Asian countries, some people expects government to solve bigger social problems such as, unemployment, scarcity in food supplies, falling adult literacy rates etc. More importantly, Earth is currently under haunting threats of various environmental challenges in the form of global warming, endangered species, and damage to ecosystem etc. which require immediate attention, in the form of public funding to conduct better research. Therefore, considering these factors, certain people believe it is waste of tax payer’s money to be invested on space exploration which does not have immediate tangible results. To conclude, it is important for humanity to be prepared and be ready with alternate sources of energy. To do so, huge investments be done on space exploration programs. However, only affluent nations, capable of handling such a huge scale of research must take part in this cause.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
technologically
advanced world, where field of astronomy has reached the zenith of success, making it possible for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
of the universe.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
section of the society supports this development.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others have contrasting views. In my opinion. Research investments in such an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
field is crucial.
However
, it should
be carried
out by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
developed and affluent nations, having ample resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of its citizenry.

Firstly
, considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
global challenges related to fossil fuel depletion, shortage of natural energy, water scarcity etc. it is imminent that natural resources would
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
be depleted
.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
for scientist to explore alternate means of energy, for which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
are
inevitably
the
first
potential candidates for natural resources.
For instance
, scientist have recently discovered a special chemical on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
Venus, which has potential of being useful in treating various diseases.
Secondly
, with
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
population on earth, sooner or later additional space would
be required
, for which life on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
objects is
first
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option.
Furthermore
, with development of technology, we can consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
future tourist spot, provided we
successfully
identify one at
first
place.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, considering the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
global economic unrest.
Especially
in numerous African and Asian countries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
expects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to solve bigger social problems such as, unemployment, scarcity in food supplies, falling adult literacy rates etc. More
importantly
, Earth is
currently
under haunting threats of various environmental challenges in the form of global warming, endangered species, and damage to ecosystem etc. which require immediate attention, in the form of public funding to conduct better research.
Therefore
, considering these factors, certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe it is waste of tax payer’s money to
be invested
on space exploration which does not have immediate tangible results.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for humanity to
be prepared
and be ready with alternate sources of energy. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, huge investments
be done
on space exploration programs.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
affluent nations, capable of handling such a huge scale of research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in this cause.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people want government to spend money on life on other planets. However, others think it is a waste of public money when the earth already has so many problems. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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