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Some people use the internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or a negative development? * v.3

Some people use the internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or a negative development? * v. 3
The internet is used by many people to find a solution to medical diseases. In my opinion, it is a positive development because it not only gives an alternative to physical exercise for serious problems but also helps in curing minor diseases. The primary reason why the internet is preferred by many is that one can learn how to cure some critical diseases physically. In other words, some diseases such as lung cancer can not be cured even after years of medicine. So, with the help of the internet one can find a person who claims to cure a crucial disease with the help of involving himself in some sort of physical exercise. Take, cancer patients, for example. According to a report released by the Times Of New York. It has been revealed that almost 80% of patients who were suffering from cancer, instead of consulting doctors, took the help of the internet and were able to learn about exercises to cure cancer. Hence, it is evident that the internet is helpful for better alternative treatment of crucial diseases. Another reason is that the internet can help save money by giving knowledge of curing low-intensity diseases by natural remedies. The young generation nowadays trusts some older people who know how to treat diseases like cough and sneezing naturally with whom people meet over the internet. Moreover, it saves a lot of money to be paid to the doctor for curing such diseases, where a doctor provides medicines that are harmful to humans. Thus, the internet can be helpful in saving a pretty penny and also disease can be cured naturally. To conclude, I wholeheartedly agree it is a positive development because it helps to find a better solution to serious problems as well as to cure low-rate diseases naturally.
The internet is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to find a solution to medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
. In my opinion, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives an alternative to physical exercise for serious problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
in curing minor diseases.

The primary reason why the internet
is preferred
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
is that one can learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
physically
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
such as lung
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
can not
be cured
even after years of medicine.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the internet one can find a person who claims to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
a crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of involving himself in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of physical exercise. Take,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
patients,
for example
. According to a report released by the Times Of New York. It has
been revealed
that almost 80% of patients who were suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
,
instead
of consulting doctors, took the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the internet and were able to learn about exercises to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cancer
.
Hence
, it is evident that the internet is helpful for better alternative treatment of crucial diseases.

Another reason is that the internet can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
save money by giving knowledge of curing low-intensity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
by natural remedies. The young generation nowadays trusts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who know how to treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
like cough and sneezing
naturally
with whom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
over the internet.
Moreover
, it saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money to
be paid
to the doctor for curing such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
, where a doctor provides medicines that are harmful to humans.
Thus
, the internet can be helpful in saving a pretty penny and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
can
be cured
naturally
.

To conclude
, I
wholeheartedly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
to find a better solution to serious problems
as well
as to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cure
low-rate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
naturally
.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people use the internet to search for solutions to their medical problems. Is it a positive or a negative development? * v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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