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Some people trust their first impressions about a person’s character because they believe these judgments are generally correct. Other people do not judge a person’s character quickly because they believe first impressions are often wrong. Compare these v.2

Some people trust their first impressions about a person’s character because they believe these judgments are generally correct. Other people do not judge a person’s character quickly because they believe first impressions are often wrong. Compare these v. 2
The purpose of government spending has always been a controversial issue. In the case of environmental protection, most of the masses think that only the government is responsible for taking care of the environment. It is irrefutable that, clean and fresh air is indispensable for human survival. So, I opine that it would be more beneficial if both should take some steps to share the responsibility. On the one hand, the government may play a crucial role in maintaining the environment for safe and healthy. They should introduce the laws and regulations to mitigate the environmental problems like as air pollution and more. For example, There are some policies to move the location of firms from urban areas to the countryside. Thus, it would be helpful to reduce the poison fumes in cities. Moreover, the authorities should take big decisions to save the environment. For example, the decision to ban the diesel cars that emits harmful carbons and cause pollute the nature. On the other hand, it is undeniable the each person can play a vital role to protect their neighbourhood. Firstly, the private vehicle is considered as a major contributor to destroy the climate. Therefore, people should have less use of their own cars and use public transport system. Due to this, people would help to protect the ecosystem. Another opportunity is available for individual is recycling. For example, if people avoid purchasing products with excess packaging, it will force suppliers to resort to less plastic packaging, thereby reducing pollution. In a nutshell, it can be concluded that If all human beings and the government make few positive changes in favour of protecting the biosphere, it can not only help to reduce pollution and save the environment, but also leads to more unity in people.
The purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spending has always been a controversial issue. In the case of environmental protection, most of the masses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for taking care of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. It is irrefutable that, clean and fresh air is indispensable for human survival.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, I opine that it would be more beneficial if both should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
steps to share the responsibility.

On the one hand, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
may play a crucial role in maintaining the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for safe and healthy. They should introduce the laws and regulations to mitigate the environmental problems like as air pollution and more.
For example
, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
the location of firms from urban areas to the countryside.
Thus
, it would be helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the poison fumes in cities.
Moreover
, the authorities should take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
decisions to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For example
, the decision to ban the diesel cars that emits harmful carbons and cause pollute the nature.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "each" is left.
the each
person can play a vital role to protect their
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
.
Firstly
, the private vehicle
is considered
as a major contributor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the climate.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
cars and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport system. Due to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to protect the ecosystem. Another opportunity is available for individual is recycling.
For example
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid purchasing products with excess packaging, it will force suppliers to resort to less plastic packaging, thereby reducing pollution.

In a nutshell, it can
be concluded
that If all human beings and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
few
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of protecting the biosphere, it can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution and save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
leads to more unity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people trust their first impressions about a person’s character because they believe these judgments are generally correct. Other people do not judge a person’s character quickly because they believe first impressions are often wrong. Compare these v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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