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some people thinks that development of technology is reducing crime while think that it encourages crime? discuss both the views. give your opinion? v.3

some people thinks that development of technology is reducing crime while think that it encourages crime? give your opinion? v. 3
These days, Some masses believe that crime is alleviated with the modern technology. While others believe that it is raising with leading-edge technology. It has both positive and Negative factors that I will explain the successive paragraphs. On the one side, Firstly and for most, There are countless Advanced Equipment's are available such as cameras, mobile phones et cetera, which are utilised for the surveillance. Thus, these observe the every movement. If something happens or before any happening, it can easily observe and record with it. In this way, if someone is approaching the wrong way, they have the fear of these goods which ultimately limit illegal activities. To illustrate, live illegal movement or crime, corruption cases, accidents and so on, which are recorded through it. These cases are solved within time as the recording of these are the best proof that is considered by the high court or higher authorities. Secondly, Televisions, Internet, advertisements and movies et cetera, are the best media which spreads the positive awareness among the individuals. They teach the best lessons to the masses and tells the drawbacks of the unlawful activities. So, it assists to diminish the offence. Last but not least, With the tracking system through the satellite. Now, It is easiest to find out any person throughout the world. The plenty of terrorist, criminals are traced with the help of it and they are living under the fear of it. Consequently, it aids an advantage to diminish the crime rate. On the other side, crime rate is enhanced because folks are learning the numerous things from the programmes or movies which are telecasted on the electronic media such as internet, electronic gadgets et cetera. Masses learn the way of crime or theft. Moreover, now a day, It is ingenious to retrieve any data, any secret or confidential documents from any server with the improvement of technology. Hackers are doing this job any any extra effort. Thus, this knowledge can be shared with any others or for any personal purpose. It can be used for any wrong activities. So, It may be surged the offence rate. Furthermore, Now, It is convenient to control any surveillance gadgets without any extra endeavour. For this reason, it is elevating the illegal act. To summarize, Cutting edge technology has both merits and demerits to enhance or reduce the crime. But its positive view can be very helpful to diminish the crime and the growth of the nation.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
masses believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is alleviated
with the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
others believe that it is raising with leading-edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. It has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Negative
factors that I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the successive paragraphs.

On the one side,
Firstly
and for most, There are countless Advanced Equipment's are available such as cameras, mobile
Possible spelling mistake found.
phones et
cetera, which are
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
for the surveillance.
Thus
, these observe the every movement. If something happens or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
any happening, it can
easily
observe and record with it. In this way, if someone is approaching the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way, they have the fear of these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
which
ultimately
limit illegal activities. To illustrate,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
illegal movement or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, corruption cases, accidents and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, which
are recorded
through it. These cases
are solved
within time as the recording of these are the best proof that
is considered
by the high court or higher authorities.
Secondly
, Televisions, Internet, advertisements and
Possible spelling mistake found.
movies et
cetera, are the best media which spreads the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
awareness among the individuals. They teach the best lessons to the masses and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
the drawbacks of the unlawful activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it assists to diminish the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, With the tracking system through the satellite.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, It is easiest to find out any person throughout the world. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of terrorist, criminals
are traced
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they are living under the fear of it.
Consequently
, it aids an advantage to diminish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.

On the other side,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate
is enhanced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
folks are learning the numerous things from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
or movies which are
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "telecast", the past tense form of the verb 'telecast'?
telecasted
on the electronic media such as internet, electronic
Possible spelling mistake found.
gadgets et
cetera. Masses learn the way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
or theft.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a day, It is ingenious to retrieve any data, any secret or confidential documents from any server with the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Hackers are doing this job
Possible typo: you repeated a word
any any
extra effort.
Thus
, this knowledge can
be shared
with any others or for any personal purpose. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
activities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, It may
be surged
the
Possible spelling mistake. 'offence' is British English.
offence
rate.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, It is convenient to control any surveillance gadgets without any extra
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
.
For this reason
, it is elevating the illegal act.

To summarize
, Cutting edge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has both merits and demerits to enhance or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
view can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful to diminish the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
and the growth of the nation.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay some people thinks that development of technology is reducing crime while think that it encourages crime? give your opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
410 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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