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Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becoming more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.8

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becoming more isolated. 8
It is thought by some that the internet has reduced the gap between people, others say that people and their community are in isolation because of the web. In my opinion, although I agree that the internet has bridged the gap between individuals across the world, it has not done so to the communities. On the one hand, some believe that since its invention, the internet has brought individuals closer because it made communication a lot easier and faster. Before now, communication was by either post office mail or telegram which takes a lot of time. Currently, through various online social media, such as Facebook and WhatsApp, you can reach out to family and friends without any delay via text messages or video calls. Additionally, you can meet and make new friends via these media. On the other hand, others argue that the web has driven not only humans but also the society further apart due to its constant use. In other words, many become addicted to their gadgets, such as phones and laptops, where they either engage in a chat or online games, thus, ignoring their immediate environment and those around them. As a consequence, there is a reduced social interaction and activity, which in turn, leads to lack of understanding, segregation and loneliness. Finally, in my opinion, while the net has brought individuals close, it is yet to do so with the communities. For example, you can search for your childhood friend on Facebook and be able to reconnect, which would have been impossible without the web. Conversely, the society is driven far apart when we are busy online spending time with people unknown to us, without considering those within our reach. Hence, our society is becoming more isolated because of the net. In conclusion, though people may vary in their views, I consider that the net has bridged the gap between individuals, but has put the community in isolation due to less face-to-face communication.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the internet has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, others say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and their community are in isolation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the web. In my opinion, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the internet has bridged the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
across the world, it has not done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to the communities.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that since its invention, the internet has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
closer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it made communication a lot easier and faster.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, communication was by either post office mail or telegram which takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time.
Currently
, through various online social media, such as Facebook and WhatsApp, you can reach out to family and friends without any delay via text messages or video calls.
Additionally
, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends via these media.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others argue that the web has driven not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society
further
apart due to its constant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
become addicted to their gadgets, such as phones and laptops, where they either engage in a chat or online games,
thus
, ignoring their immediate environment and those around them. As a consequence, there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
social interaction and activity, which in turn, leads to lack of understanding, segregation and loneliness.

Finally
, in my opinion, while the net has brought
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
close, it is
yet
to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
with the communities.
For example
, you can search for your childhood friend on Facebook and be able to reconnect, which would have been impossible without the web.
Conversely
, the society
is driven
far apart when we are busy online spending time with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unknown to us, without considering those within our reach.
Hence
, our society is becoming more isolated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the net.

In conclusion
, though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their views, I consider that the net has bridged the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
has put the community in isolation due to less face-to-face communication.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people think that the internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becoming more isolated. 8

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
327 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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