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It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. v. 1
At school, it is essential to put children with different talents and from varying family social origins together. This essay will explain the benefits and risks of such a diverse school concept. In my opinion, a variety of abilities and backgrounds can only be partially beneficial for all parties involved, since these varying conditions can be the cause of conflicts and misunderstandings. Firstly, one major benefit for children is diverse classes is the opportunity to broaden their horizons and benefit from each other. For instance, a child with a brilliant memory can help his or her classmates to learn vocabulary and motivate them. Additionally, school kids being from different social backgrounds have to learn to accept and tolerate each other when put together. This prepares them well for real life situations. What risks does a diverse school community have? A wide range of talents can also translate into children fighting with each other or being jealous of each other. Eventually, this might result in a toxic environment in which students will less or rare talents suffer. Moreover, it can be difficult to address the different needs of students. For example, children with good math skills might be bored in math classes, but fall behind in language courses. Furthermore, misunderstandings might predominate the interactions given that the juniors are from different social backgrounds. In conclusion, this essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of a diverse school concept. Overall, I believe that such an environment is only partially beneficial for children due to the risks of misunderstandings and conflicts and varieties within a school should not be too extreme.
At
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, it is essential to put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
talents and from varying family social origins together. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the benefits and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
concept. In my opinion, a variety of abilities and backgrounds can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
partially
beneficial for all parties involved, since these varying conditions can be the cause of conflicts and misunderstandings.

Firstly
, one major benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
classes is the opportunity to broaden their horizons and benefit from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For instance
, a child with a brilliant memory can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
classmates to learn vocabulary and motivate them.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
kids being from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
social backgrounds
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
learn to accept and tolerate each
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other
when put together. This prepares them well for real life situations.

What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
does a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
community have? A wide range of talents can
also
translate into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
fighting with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
or being jealous of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Eventually
, this might result in a toxic environment in which students will less or rare talents suffer.
Moreover
, it can be difficult to address the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
needs of students.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
math
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
might
be bored
in math classes,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
fall behind in language courses.
Furthermore
, misunderstandings might predominate the interactions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
that the juniors are from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
social backgrounds.

In conclusion
, this essay discussed the advantages and disadvantages of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
concept.
Overall
, I believe that such an environment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
partially
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
of misunderstandings and conflicts and varieties within a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
should not be too extreme.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important to ensure that children with a wide range of abilities and from a variety of social backgrounds mix with each other at school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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