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Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. v. 5
It is argued by an overwhelming majority of people that youngsters should go to academy and continue their education, although others assume that it is much better if they work straight after high school in the building industry or as a car repair. I am of the opinion that both of the views have their advantages and drawbacks as well and young people should choose their paths in terms of their interests and objectives. There are two prominent reasons why going straight to educational institution can be seen profitable. A large number of students choose to go academy instead of seeking for operation. In this way, they can be ensured that they have a promising future. This is because these days, an increasing number of corporations employ the employees who have academy degrees and are professional in a specific major. Moreover, employees should be able to speak foreign languages, particularly international languages and they also should be able to work with computer and social media. If student continue their study in academy the be able to develop this criterion; therefore they may gain decent well-paid task with high prestige and guarantee their future. On the other hand, may be some student choose to work, simply because they want to live independent and. Being independent is very important for some youngster. Maybe they want to get married and build their own families or maybe they want to have enough money to travel around, so getting work in some well-paid industry such as building industry and car repairing provide them with enough money to pursue their goals. Furthermore, as they start their business from early life, so they gain more experience and practical knowledge and may become professional expert and gain much more money than individuals who graduated from universities. In conclusion, it seems to me that, as both view have their upsides and downsides, it should be for young people who choose their career route according to their interest and goals.
It
is argued
by an overwhelming majority of
people
that youngsters should go to
academy
and continue their education, although others assume that it is much better if they
work
straight after high school in the building industry or as a car repair. I am of the opinion that both of the views have their advantages and drawbacks
as well
and young
people
should
choose
their paths in terms of their interests and objectives.

There are two prominent reasons why going straight to educational institution can be
seen
profitable.
A large number of
students
choose
to go
academy
instead
of seeking for operation. In this way, they can
be ensured
that they have a promising future. This is
because
these days, an increasing number of corporations employ the employees who have
academy
degrees and are professional in a specific major.
Moreover
, employees should be able to speak foreign languages,
particularly
international
languages and
they
also
should be able to
work
with computer and social media. If student continue their study in
academy
the be
able to develop this criterion;
therefore
they may gain decent well-paid task with high prestige and guarantee their future.

On the other hand
, may be
some
student
choose
to
work
,
simply
because
they want to
live
independent and. Being independent is
very
important
for
some
youngster. Maybe they want to
get
married and build their
own
families or maybe they want to have
enough
money to travel around,
so
getting
work
in
some
well-paid industry such as building industry and car repairing provide them with
enough
money to pursue their goals.
Furthermore
, as they
start
their business from early life,
so
they gain more experience and practical knowledge and may become professional expert and gain much more money than individuals who graduated from universities.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that, as both view have their upsides and downsides, it should be for young
people
who
choose
their career route according to their interest and goals.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think young people should go to university to further their education while others think they should been encouraged to work as car mechanics or builders etc. to serve society. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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