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Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. v. 2
It is thought that the traditions of a community should be followed by the youngsters. However, others argue that people should be free to act like an individual. In my opinion, youth should get freedom. Even so, it is also necessary to follow own rituals. This essay will highlight both the given statements. Some people believe that the teenagers can know their rituals. The reason for their beliefs is to protect their norms, values and festivals throughout the generation. Likewise, the generation gaps bring a plethora of changes among the people. For instance, in Nepal, children say 'Namaste' to their parents, relatives and senior ones to show respect towards them. This type of traditions not only build strong relations among citizens, but also assists to show our identity. Moreover, it makes the nation difference from one another. On the other hand, young people should have the freedom to live their lives freely. Although, every person has right to take decisions, traditions insist them to do the same thing like previous period. To illustrate this, in many countries, there is a religion by wearing white attires when someone's death. Subsequently, in some caste, alcohols are mandatory on the special occasions such as birthday, marriage, while drinking alcohols are prohibited in other religions. Therefore, such types of habits should be avoided from the country and increase the person to live freely. To conclude this, the teenagers should be followed their own religions without hampering other desires and liberty. This helps to maintain a healthy society.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the traditions of a community should
be followed
by the youngsters.
However
, others argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be free to act like an individual. In my opinion, youth should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
freedom. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is
also
necessary to follow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rituals. This essay will highlight both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statements.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
can know their rituals. The reason for their beliefs is to protect their norms, values and festivals throughout the generation.
Likewise
, the generation gaps bring a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For instance
, in Nepal, children say 'Namaste' to their parents, relatives and senior ones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
respect towards them. This type of traditions not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
build strong relations among citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
assists to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
our identity.
Moreover
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the nation difference from one another.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
freely
. Although, every person has right to take decisions, traditions insist them to do the same thing
Comparison is written 'the same ... "as"'.
like
previous period. To illustrate this, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, there is a religion by wearing white attires when someone's death.
Subsequently
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
caste, alcohols are mandatory on the special occasions such as birthday, marriage, while drinking alcohols
are prohibited
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
religions.
Therefore
, such types of habits should
be avoided
from the country and increase the person to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
freely
.

To conclude
this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should
be followed
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
religions without hampering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
desires and liberty. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to maintain a healthy society.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think young people should follow the traditions of their society. Others think that they should be free to behave as individuals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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