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Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. v.6

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. v. 6
Gender equality has garnered a lot of interest in the past two decades. A few individuals believe that ladies should be provided with a fair chance to labour and succeed in their professions. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why it is not a good idea to provide equal chances for the women, as men. Even though there are limitations, gender equality can bring about a few positives in the modern world. Firstly, for instance, it provides a platform for the weaker sex to strive and match with their male counterparts, which in turn would produce internal competition and as a result it leads to prosperity. Secondly, it provides equal opportunities for all the living beings, irrespective of their sex. Finally, it assists in shaping the world to a better place by bringing a lot of girls out to the forefront. However, there are many reasons why gender fairness could not be brought out every field. For example, because men and women are not created equal, their intellectual prowess as well as physical strength may vary drastically, which in turn could impact their ability to perform. Not only the male would be more pragmatic, but also would be quicker in their decision making ability, naturally and thus are dominant. To exemplify, in the animal world, most of the species of mammals are male dominated. Therefore, women do not have a natural affinity to outperform men in every field. To conclude, even though gender equality is a very broad term and cannot be generalized, there are lots of limitations in providing equal share of opportunities for women. Further, the society can function very well, even without having a fair share among its genders.
Gender equality has garnered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interest in the past two decades. A few individuals believe that ladies should
be provided
with a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
chance to
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
and succeed in their professions. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons why it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
chances for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
.

Even though
there are limitations, gender equality can bring about a few positives in the modern world.
Firstly
,
for instance
, it provides a platform for the
This expression can be considered offensive.
weaker sex
to strive and match with their male counterparts, which in turn would produce internal competition and
as a result
it leads to prosperity.
Secondly
, it provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
opportunities for all the living beings, irrespective of their sex.
Finally
, it assists in shaping the world to a better place by bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
girls out to the forefront.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why gender fairness could not
be brought
out every field.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
are not created
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
, their intellectual prowess
as well
as physical strength may vary
drastically
, which in turn could impact their ability to perform. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the male would be more pragmatic,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
would be quicker in their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
ability,
naturally
and
thus
are dominant. To exemplify, in the animal world, most of the species of mammals are male dominated.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
do not have a natural affinity to outperform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in every field.

To conclude
,
even though
gender equality is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
broad term and cannot
be generalized
, there are lots of limitations in providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
equal
share of opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
Further
, the society can function
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well, even without having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
share among its genders.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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