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Some people think universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills for the workplace. other think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its sake, regardless whether the course is useful to employer. What in your opinion should be the main function of the university? v.1

Some people think universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills for the workplace. other think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its sake, regardless whether the course is useful to employer. What in your opinion should be the main function of the university? v. 1
In the last few decades, the awareness regarding to university education has been certainly increased. Many people opine that students ought to be cultivated by educational institutions from an employment perspective. Whereas few people believe that the main aim of tertiary education is to gain only knowledge. I completely agree with the formal view and supporting arguments are given in following paragraphs. To begin with, Benefits of education with the focus on employment, a student can learn many practical skills which will emerge as a potential candidate during interview in this competitive world. Because many employers are interested in candidates who possess Theoretical knowledge with its implementation skill, hence they avoid wasting their resources such as time and money to a new employee. Moreover, many colleges have started vocational courses that help the students to get their job in a short time after graduation, as a result employment rate and quality of the workforce will improve. The team of researchers had done survey in year of 1990 and conclude that half of the newly joined employees and not compatible to their job due to lack of their practical skills. Furthermore, over the years the demands of companies to the educational qualification has been more stringent. Thus, the candidates have to present their knowledge along with their project work during the interview process. Lastly, the higher educational institutes have a moral responsibility to teach their students, according to demand of corporate world, thus research of such students can be beneficial to both candidate and their employer In conclusion, the potential candidate must acquire the theoretical and practical skills which is beneficial for the development of society. Such a qualitative workforce can boost up the economy of the domestic region. The government should promote these practises to the students and educational institutes.
In the last few decades, the awareness
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
university education has been
certainly
increased.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to
be cultivated
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutions from an employment perspective.
“Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the main aim of tertiary education is to gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
knowledge. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the formal view and supporting arguments are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, Benefits of education with the focus on employment, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which will emerge as a potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
during interview in this competitive world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
employers
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
who possess Theoretical knowledge with its implementation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
hence
they avoid wasting their resources such as time and money to a new employee.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
colleges have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
vocational courses that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their job in a short time after graduation,
as a result
employment rate and quality of the workforce will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. The team of researchers had done survey in year of 1990 and conclude that half of the
newly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joined
employees and not compatible to their job due to lack of their practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Furthermore
, over the years the demands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
qualification has been more stringent.
Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
present their knowledge along with their project work during the interview process.
Lastly
, the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes have a moral responsibility to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, according to demand of corporate world,
thus
research of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be beneficial to both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
and their employer

In conclusion
, the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
candidate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
acquire the theoretical and practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which is beneficial for the development of society. Such a qualitative workforce can boost up the economy of the domestic region. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should promote these
Possible spelling mistake. 'practises' is British English.
practises
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
institutes.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills for the workplace. other think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its sake, regardless whether the course is useful to employer. What in your opinion should be the main function of the university? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
300 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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