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Some people think the government is wasting money on science and this money could better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think the government is wasting money on science and this money could better spent elsewhere. v. 2
A significant number of people believe that state is draining wealth by spending on science, instead of this, it should be utilized in other prospects. In my opinion, I completely disagree, as the tasks performed by humans in saving lives with the help of technology is unachievable without using science. New discoveries to make life safer and free from diseases for humans is only done by science, therefore it is vital for any nation to spend money on it. Almost every day new infections are arising in this world and scientists are working hard to discover medicines to cure human being from these infections. For instance, many diseases are being cured by various drugs invented by a number of scientists around the world and this could have not been possible without the support of government funding. Security and protection of assets are necessary for every nation and this cannot be achieved without brains of scientists, thus it becomes pivotal to spend money in such subjects. In this competitive world every nation is struggling to achieve greater success, thus defeating others can give birth to enemies, therefore it is vital to save the country from such enemies and scientific tools are required during that time to save the country from enemy nations. For instance, the development of nuclear power is essential for any nation to secure their land and people from enemy nations which can target them during the war-like situations. In conclusion, scientific inventions are high in demand in this modern world to protect humans from deadly infections as well as from rival countries which can target them during crises or any other dangerous situations. Hence, the government must spend money in science to educate people and promote other activities.
A significant number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that state is draining wealth by spending on science,
instead
of this, it should
be utilized
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
prospects. In my opinion, I completely disagree, as the tasks performed by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in saving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology is unachievable without using science.

New discoveries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life safer and free from diseases for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
done by science,
therefore
it is vital for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to spend money on it. Almost every day new infections are arising in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and scientists are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to discover medicines to cure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being from these infections.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases are
being cured
by various drugs invented by a number of scientists around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and this could have not been possible without the support of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
funding.

Security and protection of assets are necessary for every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
and this cannot
be achieved
without brains of scientists,
thus
it becomes pivotal to spend money in such subjects. In this competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
is struggling to achieve greater success,
thus
defeating others can give birth to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enemies
,
therefore
it is vital to save the country from such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enemies
and scientific tools
are required
during that time to save the country from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enemy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
.
For instance
, the development of nuclear power is essential for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
to secure their land and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
enemy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
which can target them during the war-like situations.

In conclusion
, scientific inventions are high in demand in this modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
from deadly infections
as well
as from rival countries which can target them during crises or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
situations.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend money in science to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
I am always sorry when any language is lost, because languages are the pedigrees of nations.
Samuel Johnson

IELTS essay Some people think the government is wasting money on science and this money could better spent elsewhere. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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