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Some people think the government is wasting money on science and this money could better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think the government is wasting money on science and this money could better spent elsewhere. v. 1
Day by day Increasing number of overweight people than they get stressed from the health care system. Health fitness is the best way to reduce this issue, while we teach the significance of well-being since childhood than some humans are not trusting that. In this essay we can discuss both views. To begin with, if we want to run in the best way with society first, we should concentrate on health, fitness because when having good personality will go in best method. Overweight people getting stressed due to their physical condition behind this situation eat junk food with extra oil and cholesterol. Most of the numbers are going to fast food items. For example: In their busy life do not have much time for cooking so they are running with fat food and not maintaining sleep hours properly. In software field need to do EST timings so we can do three shifts, so it will be changed their sleeping timings. On the other hand, Some could not gain the knowledge how to reduce loss weight that would be depended on their status, such as illiteracy people and not spend money for gym, fruits and a current diet plan. For example: In rural areas most of the people are illiteracy people and even they could not get diet planners. So if implemented in schools about strength it would be given some ideas for strong physical and mental health. Kids will tell to their grandparents if they do not know. I have to go to the conclusion, People overweight is dangerous to society. Health strength is the best way for people as well good society.
Day by day Increasing number of overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
care system.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
fitness is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this issue, while we teach the significance of well-being since childhood than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
humans are not trusting that. In this essay we can discuss both views.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, if we want to run in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way with society
first
, we should concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
, fitness
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
personality will go in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
method. Overweight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
due to their physical condition behind this situation eat junk food with extra oil and cholesterol. Most of the numbers are going to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food items.
For example
: In their busy life do not have much time for cooking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are running with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
food and not maintaining sleep hours
properly
. In software field need to do EST timings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can do three shifts,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
their sleeping timings.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
could not gain the knowledge how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
loss weight that would
be depended
on their status, such as illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and not spend money for gym, fruits and a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
diet plan.
For example
: In rural areas most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are illiteracy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and even they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diet planners.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
if implemented in schools about strength it would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for strong physical and mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Kids will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
to their grandparents if they do not know.

I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to the conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
overweight is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
strength is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
society.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think the government is wasting money on science and this money could better spent elsewhere. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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