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Modern buildings change the character and appearance of towns and cities The government should insist that new buildings be built in traditional styles to protect cultural identity To what extent do you agree or disagree v.1

Modern buildings change the character and appearance of towns and cities The government should insist that new buildings be built in traditional styles to protect cultural identity v. 1
It is a fundamental duty of parents to nurture their children in a good way. For the parents are perhaps the greatest responsibility. Some individuals believe that raising up children with whole foods member like grandparents, aunts, etc. I strongly agree with this notion. There are ample reasons for supporting this argument. Firstly, in today's fast paced life's both parents are working. This will result into they could not able to allocate sufficient time to their kids. In such a cases grandparents can help to bring up children in a loving, respective and supportive way. Secondly, grandparents can provide guidance to their kids to take some critical decisions based on their experiences, beliefs, rituals. For instance, a grandmother can help her daughter in law to limit her kid because she already did with her son. Lastly, grandparents can teach their grandchildren about their religion, culture, traditions in a better way. On the other hand, some people come with an argument that nowadays, most like to live in nuclear family concept. So they want to nurture their kids according to their wish. Moreover today's young parents are mature enough in a both financial and social ways. They also argue that many child care institutions and babysitters are available easily. So, in the absence of parents, they can take care of kids. In conclusion, I do admit that today's parents have multiple option to raise the heir kids, but I believe that nurturing kid with whole family member ultimately gives the happy family life for both parents and children.
It is a fundamental duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to nurture their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way. For the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are perhaps the greatest responsibility.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals believe that raising up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with whole
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "foods'" or "food's"?
foods
member like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
, aunts, etc. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

There are ample reasons for supporting this argument.
Firstly
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
paced life's both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are working. This will result into they could not able to allocate sufficient time to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. In such a cases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to bring up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in a loving, respective and supportive way.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can provide guidance to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
critical decisions based on their experiences, beliefs, rituals.
For instance
, a grandmother can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
her
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
daughter in law
to limit her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she already did with her son.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grandparents
can teach their grandchildren about their religion, culture, traditions in a better way.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with an argument that nowadays, most like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nuclear family concept.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they want to nurture their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
according to their wish.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
in a both financial and social ways. They
also
argue that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
child care institutions and babysitters are available
easily
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, in the absence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, they can take care of kids.

In conclusion
, I do admit that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have multiple option to raise the heir
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that nurturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
with whole family member
ultimately
gives the happy family life for both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Modern buildings change the character and appearance of towns and cities The government should insist that new buildings be built in traditional styles to protect cultural identity v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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