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Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally films. Why could this be? Should government give more financial support to local industries? v.2

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally films. Why could this be? Should government give more financial support to local industries? v. 2
Nowadays, people could not imagine their lives without a cinema. It is argued that in modern society, a lot of citizens desire to watch international films rather than domestic ones. The reason for this could be a lack of popular celebrities and not sufficient financial support from the state. To begin with, well-known actors play an important role in the industry of video. It is certainly true that the best films always accompanied by stars like Brad Pitt and Angelina Joli because they are able to perform a great role-play. If the county does not have popular artists in its film industry, customers will not prefer to watch such movies. For example, TOP 100 of rated films has at least 3 well-known celebrities in the shooting. Each industry should have financial support from the government in order to be successful. This also applies to the filmography. Economic benefits will attract more video directors to produce more films because this will give them a higher income which is vital for everyone. These advantages could be tax-free areas for the movies. For example, most of the United States TV shows were made in British Columbia, which is located in Canada because of its low tax. Taking all these points into consideration, to make a domestic video popular, the government should help the video producers with money, moreover, the country should have a lot of well-known actors in the cinema industry. If this thing will not be done, foreign films will be always popular rather domestics one.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
could not imagine their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without a cinema. It
is argued
that in modern society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
citizens desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
international films
rather
than domestic ones. The reason for this could be a lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
celebrities and not sufficient financial support from the state.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, well-known actors play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
. It is
certainly
true that the best films always accompanied by stars like Brad Pitt and Angelina
Possible spelling mistake found.
Joli
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are able to perform a great role-play. If the county does not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
artists in its film
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
, customers will not prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
such movies.
For example
, TOP 100 of rated films has at least 3 well-known celebrities in the shooting.

Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
should have financial support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in order to be successful. This
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
the filmography. Economic benefits will attract more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
directors to produce more films
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will give them a higher income which is vital for everyone. These advantages could be tax-free areas for the movies.
For example
, most of the United States TV
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
were made
in British Columbia, which
is located
in Canada
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its low tax.

Taking all these points into consideration, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
producers with money,
moreover
, the country should have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
well-known actors in the cinema
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. If this thing will not
be done
, foreign films will be always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
rather
domestics one.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally films. Why could this be? Should government give more financial support to local industries? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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