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Some people think the environmental protection can only be addressed at international level Do you agree or disagree v.2

Some people think the environmental protection can only be addressed at international level v. 2
In the last few decades there has been considerable debate over protecting natural environment at worldwide level. There are a lot of arguments about whether it is better to preserve environment at international level or to allocate this responsibility to local authorities and individuals. To begin with, it is of vital importance that different countries around the world cooperate in order to protect environment. This is due to the fact that they can set up some rules or impose fines on water or air pollution caused by factories. Furthermore, they can dispute over current problems regarding to environment and find suitable solutions. For example, the problem of global warming could be solved by adopting policies ranging from reducing car emissions to setting certain emission limits for factories. Therefore, it is crucial to take care of environment by international cooperation. However, the substantial benefits with regard to the contribution of government and people cannot be denied. Firstly, government could take certain steps in preserving environment via media. In fact, the constant awareness of people about protecting natural habitat and the potential problem which comes from destroying environment in television could have substantial positive effects. Secondly, local authorities can also attract people' s attention and remind their vital role in protecting environment especially in children by the means of education. This could be done by introducing various hazards that could negatively contribute to environment and the useful ways to cope with these threats could reduce environmental problems dramatically. Moreover, individuals can have huge positive impacts on the environment. They can do this by making lifestyle changes, such as using energy efficient light bulbs, planting trees, using cars with best fuel economy and reducing use of electricity. Consequently, the society would tackle environmental problems effectively and preserve natural habitat for the next generation. In conclusion, we should probe to devise an appropriate plan that takes environmental protection into account at an international as well as local level. By running this plan we could mitigate upcoming problems in the future.
In the last few decades there has been considerable debate over protecting natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
at worldwide level. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
arguments about whether it is better to preserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
at international level or to allocate this responsibility to local authorities and individuals.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is of vital importance that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries around the world cooperate in order to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This is due to the fact that
they can set up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
or impose fines on water or air pollution caused by factories.
Furthermore
, they can dispute over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and find suitable solutions.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of global warming could
be solved
by adopting policies ranging from reducing car emissions to setting certain emission limits for factories.
Therefore
, it is crucial to take care of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by international cooperation.

However
, the substantial benefits with regard to the contribution of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot
be denied
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
could take certain steps in preserving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
via media. In fact, the constant awareness of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about protecting natural habitat and the potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from destroying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
in television could have substantial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects.
Secondly
, local authorities can
also
attract
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s attention and remind their vital role in protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
especially
in children by the means of education. This could
be done
by introducing various hazards that could
negatively
contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and the useful ways to cope with these threats could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
dramatically
.

Moreover
, individuals can have huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. They can do this by making lifestyle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
, such as using energy efficient light bulbs, planting trees, using cars with best fuel economy and reducing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of electricity.
Consequently
, the society would tackle environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
effectively
and preserve natural habitat for the
next
generation.

In conclusion
, we should probe to devise an appropriate plan that takes environmental protection into account at an international
as well
as local level. By running this plan we could mitigate upcoming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the future.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think the environmental protection can only be addressed at international level v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
336 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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