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Some people think the environmental protection can only be addressed at international level Do you agree or disagree v.1

Some people think the environmental protection can only be addressed at international level v. 1
Being healthy is the most prominent way to stay vigil, physically fit and mentally strong as a healthy mind resides in a healthy body. A person is said to be healthy when he/she do ample amount of workout, eats a nutritional diet and stay stress free. There are multifarious ways to enhance our health as explained in the forthcoming paragraphs. The first and foremost way is to have all your meals at the accurate time. Due to hectic lifestyle, people usually skip their food or eat at irregular intervals. Consequently, our carcass devoid of essential energy as food is the only source of energy in our frame. Moreover, people can become vulnerable to diseases. Hence, the masses need to eat properly and on time to stay hale and hearty. Even I applied the same idea to myself and impressed by my torso's reaction in terms of staying active and without fatigue. In addition to this, people should do regular activity so that they can burn extra calories and become more flexible. If we do not do activity, there are high chances to become indolent. Being lethargic results in loosing focus on education and career because of our fatigued mind. People can go to gym, practice a habit of morning or evening walk, play outdoor games etc. To elucidate, I pen down by saying that people should reserve time for their carcass out of mundane affairs. Balanced diet and workout can make our health better. Hence, we can safeguard yourself from various health hazards such as heart attach, blood pressure.
Being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
is the most prominent way to stay vigil,
physically
fit and mentally strong as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
mind resides in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
body. A person
is said
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
when he/she do ample amount of workout, eats a nutritional diet and stay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free. There are multifarious ways to enhance our health as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the forthcoming paragraphs.

The
first
and foremost way is to have all your meals at the accurate time. Due to hectic lifestyle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
skip their food or eat at irregular intervals.
Consequently
, our carcass devoid of essential energy as food is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of energy in our frame.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become vulnerable to diseases.
Hence
, the masses need to eat
properly
and on time to stay hale and hearty. Even I applied the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to myself and impressed by my torso's reaction in terms of staying active and without fatigue.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do regular activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can burn extra calories and become more flexible. If we do not do activity, there are high chances to become indolent. Being lethargic results in loosing focus on education and career
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of our fatigued mind.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can go to gym, practice a habit of morning or evening walk, play outdoor games etc.

To elucidate, I pen down by saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should reserve time for their carcass out of mundane affairs. Balanced diet and workout can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our health better.
Hence
, we can safeguard yourself from various health hazards such as heart attach, blood pressure.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people think the environmental protection can only be addressed at international level v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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