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Recently, there has been a rapid rise in the divorce rate among the young. Discuss the key factors that might increase the rate of divorce in modern society. v.1

Recently, there has been a rapid rise in the divorce rate among the young. Discuss the key factors that might increase the rate of divorce in modern society. v. 1
Most people argue that presenting a gift to your loved ones is a medium to show warmth besides that some people contend that there are other different methods to show love and care. In my opinion, I believe that bestowing gifts is best practice to share the love between members of society. To begin with, bestowing a gift in tangible form shows intimacy between individuals, whether they stay at different locations. This also shows the distance is not a matter and that presents, keep reminding of your partners whatever they are residing in other countries. For example, in contemporary times, due to their different job locations, it could not be possible to meet their close friends but sending a gift makes their friendship seems stronger and alive. Moreover, if a person gets a desired thing in times of need, nothing could be better than that moment for him. Consequently, giving an offering in long distance relationships as well as in necessities is a foremost method to show your emotion towards beloved ones. Although, presenting a gift to dear ones is one way to show your regard further, there may be ample number of ways to show a respect. Firstly, a somebody could show his love by physical presence by showing concern towards another body. Secondly, an individual could teach ethical values and skills to the other human which would be beneficial in his future. For illustration, parents inculcate moral values to their kids without expecting anything in return. However, alternative ways rather than delivering a gift might be useful, but presenting a gift is a primary way to give happiness to your peers or family. Overall, it seems advisable that physical presence or care in time of unfavourable circumstances may also be a way to express your feelings. Nevertheless, I strongly believe that presenting the gift is a primary means to express your sympathy and respect in society.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presenting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
to your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones is a medium to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
warmth
besides
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contend that there are other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
methods to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care. In my opinion, I believe that bestowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gifts
A determiner is probably missing here: "is the best".
is best
practice to share the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
between members of society.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, bestowing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
in tangible form
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
intimacy between individuals, whether they stay at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
locations. This
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shows
the distance is not a matter and that presents,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
reminding of your partners whatever they are residing in other countries.
For example
, in contemporary times, due to their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
job locations, it could not be possible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their close friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sending a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their friendship seems stronger and alive.
Moreover
, if a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a desired thing in times of need, nothing could be better than that moment for him.
Consequently
, giving an offering in long distance relationships
as well
as in necessities is a foremost method to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
your emotion towards beloved ones.

Although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presenting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
to dear ones is one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
your regard
further
, there may be ample number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
a respect.
Firstly
, a somebody could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
show
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
by physical presence by showing concern towards another body.
Secondly
, an individual could teach ethical values and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to the other human which would be beneficial in his future. For illustration, parents inculcate moral values to their kids without expecting anything in return.
However
, alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
rather
than delivering a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
might be useful,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presenting
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
is a primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to give happiness to your peers or family.

Overall
, it seems advisable that physical presence or care in time of
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
circumstances may
also
be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to express your feelings.
Nevertheless
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
presenting
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gift
is a primary means to express your sympathy and respect in society.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Recently, there has been a rapid rise in the divorce rate among the young. Discuss the key factors that might increase the rate of divorce in modern society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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