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Many People like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or bad thing? v.4

Many People like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or bad thing? v. 4
There is a growing trend of purchasing the modern and fashionable clothes in the public. However, it has also bought major concerns for many. In my opinion, there are several reasons behind this development, and in this essay, I shall analyse and outline the consequences of this tendency. To start with, one of the main factors behind this change is the influence of social media on the people. As, it forces people to seek more likes or to maintain their popularity over the internet. To do this, the demand for designer clothes among the public has increased considerably. For example, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University, showed that those people who use social media apps on a regular basis, are two times likely to buy expensive and fashionable clothes, compared to those who are not present in such a types of apps. However, there are various negative aspects of this trend. Firstly, today, people are spending a much larger amount of money on their clothes, than ever before. This has resulted in the higher cases of serious financial issues in the public. For example, an article published by the Oxford University, revealed that in the last decade, there is a steep incline in the number of people with debt. This correlate with the fact that presence of social media, have also grown at the same timeline. In conclusion, this is a topic which raises many questions in the contemporary life. From the given arguments and examples, I am inclined to say that the negative points of this movement surpass the positive aspects. In the future, it will be fruitful to review the reasoning stated above in order to realise improvement in this direction.
There is a growing trend of purchasing the modern and fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
in the public.
However
, it has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
major concerns for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
. In my opinion, there are several reasons behind this development, and in this essay, I shall
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
and outline the consequences of this tendency.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, one of the main factors behind this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is the influence of social media on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. As, it forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to seek more likes or to maintain their popularity over the internet. To do this, the demand for designer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
among the public has increased
considerably
.
For example
, a recent study conducted at the Stanford University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
social media apps on a regular basis, are two times likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
expensive and fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, compared to those who are not present in such
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a type" or simply "types"?
a types
of apps.

However
, there are various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of this trend.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are spending a much larger amount of money on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
, than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. This has resulted in the higher cases of serious financial issues in the public.
For example
, an article published by the Oxford University, revealed that in the last decade, there is a steep incline in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with debt. This correlate with the fact that presence of social media, have
also
grown at the same timeline.

In conclusion
, this is a topic which raises
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions in the contemporary life. From the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
arguments and examples, I
am inclined
to say that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points of this movement surpass the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
aspects. In the future, it will be fruitful to review the reasoning stated above in order to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
improvement in this direction.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Many People like to wear fashionable clothes. Why do you think this is the case? Is this a good thing or bad thing? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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