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Some people think that youngsters should get involved in unpaid work, while others oppose as it may affect their career. Discuss both the sides and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include and relevant examples. v.1

Some people think that youngsters should get involved in unpaid work, while others oppose as it may affect their career. v. 1
People have different opinions about whether youngsters should get involved in unpaid social work. While some insist that it is beneficial for young people, others argue that it will hurt their career prospects. In my opinion, it certainly makes sense for youngsters to engage in some kind of community work during their free time; however, they should not allow the volunteering to take their focus off their career goals. Young people reap many benefits when they engage in unpaid work for the underprivileged sections of the society. This allows them to see the various aspects of life and when they realize that many people around them do not even have the basic necessities of life, they will learn to count their blessings. In addition, volunteering is a great opportunity to acquire valuable work experience. They can mention these stints in their resume when it is time to apply for a job. Youngsters who have done some kind of community work are more likely to get hired than someone who has absolutely no experience of volunteering. Better still, the satisfaction that they get from doing something for the betterment of the society is immense. On the flip side, if a youngster gives too much importance to community work, he may lose his focus on his studies. This, in turn, will hurt his career prospects. In the highly competitive job market, it is impossible to find good job opportunities if you do not have a university degree with good grades. However, not doing unpaid work is not the solution to this problem. Rather, youngsters should have a clear idea of what they want to achieve in life. They should volunteer only during their free time. In conclusion, doing unpaid community work allows young people to gain valuable work experience and better perspectives on life; however, they must ensure that the community work does not distract them from their career goals.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions about whether youngsters should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in unpaid social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
insist that it is beneficial for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, others argue that it will hurt their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
prospects. In my opinion, it
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
sense for youngsters to engage in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
during their free time;
however
, they should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the volunteering to take their focus off their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals.

Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits when they engage in unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
for the underprivileged sections of the society. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the various aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and when they realize that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them do not even have the
Consider using "necessities".
basic necessities
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they will learn to count their blessings.
In addition
, volunteering is a great opportunity to acquire valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience. They can mention these stints in their resume when it is time to apply for a job. Youngsters who have done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
are more likely to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hired than someone who has
absolutely
no experience of volunteering. Better
still
, the satisfaction that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from doing something for the betterment of the society is immense.

On the flip side, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youngster
gives too much importance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, he may lose his focus on his studies. This, in turn, will hurt his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
prospects. In the
highly
competitive job market, it is impossible to find
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job opportunities if you do not have a university degree with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades.
However
, not doing unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not the solution to this problem.
Rather
, youngsters should have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of what they want to achieve in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They should volunteer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
during their free time.

In conclusion
, doing unpaid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
experience and better perspectives on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
;
however
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
does not distract them from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
career
goals.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay Some people think that youngsters should get involved in unpaid work, while others oppose as it may affect their career. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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